If You Are A Celebrity, Please Respond [And I Apologize]

Last night I had very, very real dreams. The kind when you wake up and think Did That Really Happen? Personally, I hate those vivid dreams and would much prefer my dreamlike state to be nothing but static with a white noise soundtrack.

In one of my dreams a person came up to me and said that she is a celebrity and she reads my blog. I had no idea who she was. So if you are a celebrity and you read my blog, reveal yourself. And I apologize for not knowing you in my dreams.

We leave for Florida in two days. That, I believe, is at the root of these crazy anxiety dreams. Sometimes I wonder if dreams are premonitions because I have had some bizarre dreams. I won’t bore you with the details, but I am very curious how this subconscious mind of ours works. Anyone care to condense Freud for me?

I skipped watching the DNC last night in favor of reading an article about moving out of NYC. Well, I listened to it in the background, but in general I just found it all so…annoying, I guess. I couldn’t help but cringe every time the camera panned to the political family member who looks like the Crypt Keeper. It would be too mean to name names, right? But her first name rhymes with Nah-rhea and her last name sounds like Strive Her. Or Schwarzenegger, take your pick. And I am sad about Elder Statesman’s emergency surgery and all, but every time I look at him I think about that whole accidentally killing a woman on Cape Cod thing. Michelle Obama’s speech, what I heard of it, sounded very rehearsed, which is a good and bad thing. At times her voice took that flat, preacher-like, droning tone, and you could almost see some little voice in her head say “Snap out of it! Add some modulation! Flap your arms!” And then suddenly she would flinch and talk a little faster, look a little flustered. And then cutting to Obama watching the convention in a “regular family’s living room.” He is just so in touch with the people. Ugh. I know, I am cynical.

I still am bitter about the whole all politicians denouncing gay marriage thing. Yes, I am holding a grudge. What is the big deal? What are they so afraid of? Exactly how will this tear at the fabric of our society?

In an effort to try to understand the other side, I tried to think of a scenario that might get my hackles up. And then I thought about polyamorous relationships. For the record, I have nothing against open relationships or polyamorous relationships. I knew a few couples that live such lives and it works fantastically for them. I think how lucky they are to have found the perfect person for them, the one who wants the same thing. Because it would real suck if I wanted monogamy and Nicole wanted an open relationship.

Anyway, so what if these couples/trios and adventurers wanted to marry? My first thought is “No way! Marriage is between two people. Two men or two women or one of each but two people.” And then I thought I suddenly sound a lot like the people who are against gay marriage. But the point it, it is hard for me to think of a marriage between three people or more. Imagine if married couples could marry each other and create a Super Quad? It seems all those people who are preaching about the slippery slope of gay marriage leading to furniture marriage and pet marriage and missing the chance to be ahead of the curve and start the anti-three-way marriage protests.

It would take some time for me to get used to the idea of three people being able to marry. So I guess it will take some time for the idea of two women marrying to sink into people’s heads. This exercise succeeded in making me a little more empathetic to the other side and a little horrified that I found this little pocket of non-liberalism in me. And I have a pretty broad scope of what I consider unalienable rights.

Pictured above, the Playground Set. And, do you think Avery likes her yogurt?