Wednesday, October 29, 2008
How Many People Mention "Sulfuric Air" in Their Wedding Vows?
Thanks, all, so much for the good wishes! It has only been four days since the Big Day, but already it feels like months! Is hat a good thing or bad thing? Regardless, here is a script from the ceremony:
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Justice of the Peace selected this to read this excerpt from an Adrienne Rich poem:
No one has imagined us. We want to live like trees
sycamores blazing through the sulfuric air
dappled with scars, still exuberantly budding
(I told you from the first I wanted daily life,
this island of Manhattan was island enough for me.)
If I could let you know — two women together is work
nothing in civilization has made simple,
two people together is a work
heroic in its ordinariness,
the slow-picked, halting traverse of a pitch
where the fiercest attention becomes routine
— look at the faces of those who have chosen it.
Justice of the Peace:
Nicole and Jennifer, do you vow…
• To love each other deeply?
• To seek new experiences together and grow together?
• To share your joys and successes, and support each other through your sorrows, disappointments and frustrations?
Do you vow…
• To face adversity with the goal of coming together rather than coming apart?
• To comfort each other when you cry, care for each other when you are sick, support each other when you strive, and share in joy and happiness?
Finally, do you, Nicole and Jennifer, vow…
• To cherish each other and to be grateful for each day together?
• To commit to the journey, even when you do not know the way?
• To create a loving home for each other and for Madeline and Avery?
WHAT IS IN YOUR HEARTS THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO SAY TO EACH OTHER NOW?
[Nicole’s to Jennifer]: I am grateful to have found my soul mate, the person who understands me, supports me and even humors me when I might be acting up. The safety and security you provide fills me with confidence that as bad as times may appear they never really will be that bad. You inspire me. You make me want to keep getting better — to be a better spouse, mother, friend, sister, daughter. You set a high bar. You are devoted, loving, generous to those in your orbit and I’m lucky to be revolving around you more closely than the others. You gave me a precious gift when you brought Madeline and Avery into the world. I could not conceive of more joy and love than what we already shared together. Who knew there was an entirely different and wonderful dimension to our love? You did. You are a phenomenal mother to our daughters. You’re gifted and our girls will grow up to be great women for having grown up with you influencing their lives. I cherish you, I have always cherished you and I will forever cherish you.
Jennifer to Nicole:
• It’s been almost seven years of blissful domesticity,
• Six annual lunches at Tea and Sym on the Eve of Christmas Eve,
• 5 amazing nieces and nephews, three of which we born during us
• A new family of four, expanded from a family of two about 17 months ago,
• at least 3 new computers and computer-related personal breakdowns, if my counting is correct,
•Two homes, two cars, and, most importantly two adorable, perfect, and well-worth-the-wait little girls,
• And now, one marriage to last the rest of our lives.
When I sat down to compose some thoughts, an old manifesto came to mind. Instead of hacking it into new pieces or plagiarizing myself, I though I would just quote myself:
“When I was in Bermuda I went for a walk and ended up at a church. It is the oldest church in the western hemisphere, but that isn’t the point. It was hot and the church was cool, so I sat there for a while, maybe almost a half-hour. But that isn’t the point. I thought about you the whole time, and even that isn’t my point. What is significant is that I had one of those flashes, that everything is just how it should be and life is impossibly good. I my not be winning anything yet but my bases are loaded and it feels like its only a matter of time until everything falls into place. And that flash lasted longer than a flash; it was more like a wave that washed over me. That flash become a moment and that moment became momentous. And I wish I could live in that moment. Step into it somehow and push out the edges and expand it, make it last forever. And for some reason I feel like I can only do that with you and that that is monumental.”
Well, I am happy to report that that moment has expanded to a lifetime. I lead a charmed life, and it is all because of you. How did I get so lucky? You make my future bright; you make my past conquerable; and you make my present perfect, even when the days are bogged down in rituals and routines and the ups and downs of daily life. I have never been so sure of anything or anyone in my life. I won the lotto, and, yes, we both know it is you who turns dreams into lightening, even full-on electrical storms.
And, finally, few more promises:
• I promise to never make you part with the ancient fan, despite the threat of missing digits; or make you part with the very impractical rarely driven Mercedes that only seats two ; or make you part with your bizarre collection of empherma currently relegated to closets and storage.
• I promise to tuck you in every night AND turn off the table lamp and to fulfill your desire for the pleasure of clean sheets.
• I promise to never stop trying to met your maturity level; not to panic when you panic; and not forget that you are still the beautiful, witty, caring, calm, successful hero that I feel in love with.
Justice of the Peace: These rings are a symbol of the unbroken circle of love. Love freely given has no beginning and no end. May these rings remind you always of the vows you have taken here today.
“With this ring, I pledge my love and commitment”
Justice of the Peace: Let these rings serve not as locks binding you together, but as keys, unlocking the secrets of your hearts for each other to know, and thus bringing you closer together forever.
By the power vested in me under the laws of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, I now pronounce you legally married.
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Pictured above, the girls went to a Halloween party. Obviously, they were puppies. Ask them what a doggie says and they sorta saw WOOF. Here is Avery practicing jazz hands and Madeline eating rocks when she thinks no one is looking.