Sunday, January 14, 2007

Because I Need to Calm Down...

....and remember that I have lots to be grateful already. First, there's Nicole (saving a beached skate fish this past summer on Fire Island), my rock and center, who I can't stand spending even a night away from (and yet she's off to Boston for work for a night on Thursday). Then there is my nephew Leif, who by his mere birth created a ripple effect of change in my life. Almost nothing is beter than hearing him say "I love you so much, Jen-Jen". And then there is my niece Skye, who at four months survived a near-death experience and a two-week stint in the NICU and who is today a perfectly healthly little girl who brings such joy to me. And there is Nicole's homemade boneless Buffalo chicken (which she created because I hate to eat chicken off of a bone but I love Buffalo sauce; a paradox) with bleu cheese/sour cream/buttermilk sauce (ok, so it isn't exactly lo-cal) and corn-tomato-avocado salad. My ultimate comfort food, which she lovingly adapted to accommodate my pregnancy (no bleu cheese) and even made for me Friday night after my amnio, with extra sauce, to boot. And then my amazing friends and complete Internet strangers, who offer unconditional support and sympathy and positive thoughts. Finally, these two babies. Because after all that we have been through to get pregnant, it is not lost on me that pregnancy is a mirace itself and that healthy babies are miracles too. I have to remember all this good because it is so easy to get sucked into the riptide of the bad.

Two more night's sleep till Tuesday's results. I wish I could just hibernate until then.


amy said...

i've only started reading your blog in the last week and am so sorry that you guys are having to go through all of this now. I certainly wish you the best and will be checking back first thing tues in hopes of reading great news... if attitude and karma play any part, you have nothing to worry about!

ladybug said...

am still thinking of you and nicole and the babies...keeping you in my nightly rosary.

your words about your nephew and niece made me miss my 2 little guys so so much. i must call them tomorrow! it is such a blessing to be an auntie and get all that love.

your nicole is too sweet to make you your boneless chicken wings! (i hate picking them too but love the sauce - who'da thought to make it with boneless chicken!)

love and hugs,

kim said...

All I wanted to say is your perspective is beautiful.
Hang in there. We're all waiting with you.

Sophia said...

still here

pics are great

can i ge tthe chicken recipe?

Tamsin said...

So sorry to read of all the worry that you are going through right now. I hope that it all turns out to have been unnecessary worry, and that you do indeed have two healthy babies there.

Dee said...

What a wonderful post. Hang in there. Still thinking of you and sending positive thoughts your way.

Calliope said...

mmmmmmmmm...that dinner looks YUM!

sending lots of love your way.

UtRus said...

I loved that post. You are so right, no matter what, we do all have a lot to be grateful for. Go easy on yourself -it is natural to be worried while waiting as you are and I hope that you suffer the least possible. Self-torture is the worst.

Hey BTW, there's a lot of blue cheese that's pasteruized, which you CAN eat. :) maybe Nicole can find some for you.

hugs - will be checking back in.