Wednesday, January 13, 2010

ThIngs That Go Bump In The Night In My Head

My children are still sleeping (it is almost nine!) so I put on the news, hoping to hear the latest in Haiti, but instead am greeted with a very important segment on cruises. What is wrong with this world? Can we not as a nation as least pretend to have a collected interest and concern with what is going on over there? Thousands of people are trapped under rubble even as I type this. But, really, let me hear more about the all-you-can-eat chocolate buffet.

And yes, I know how hypocritical it is for me to then now whine about my own pales-in-comparison issues, but here I go.

First, I have a random blind-item poll: Someone I know is sick. They are suffering with pneumonia. This person claims to have a very bad headache in the back of their head that they can’t get rid of. Yes, I am using “they” on purpose. This person has had this headache for a while, though it comes and goes. This person was so scared about the headache that they claim they were up half of the night crying and not sleeping, such was the extent of worry. (That may be an exaggeration.) So I tell this person to go to the doctor today. Do not pass go, do not wait another day. Go to the doctor. I am rather firm about it. And this person gets angry at me and tells you to stop causing aggravation and worry, etc. “I don’t need to hear this from you now.” “Why are you getting on my case?” “I don’t need you beating me up.”

What?! Beating up? This is the only person I know who gets angry when I show concern for them. I am wrong? Should I just back away? Of course I should back away. Toxic alert! Let me add that I have been calling every day to check in, to make sure all was well, to be an ear, and to ensure that there is food. Oh, the drama. Drama drama drama. When will I learn? And yet I seem to be drawn to this drama like a moth to flames. But the choice isn’t terribly fair: Ignore this person and seem heartless and distant and unconcerned or call this person and get sucked into drama. Because while I recognize the centrifugal pull of the drama circle, I am so for unable to escape its pull.

Now there is a segment about a dog without hind legs who uses wheels to get around. I can totally see how that is more newsy than, oh, an entire country digging out of the aftermath of a giant quake.

I was planning on driving up to Northampton today with the girls. This sort of scares me: I am completely afraid to spend the night without Nicole. A house in the middle of the woods with lots of windows and occasionally intermittent cell service. Yes, I know how ridiculous it sounds, but it’s true. I am a scaredy cat who even is afraid to sleep without Nicole even in a doorman building with video cameras surrounded by neighbors in the middle of the city. I still check in closets and behind shower curtains. I hyper analyze each and every sound. I let my imagination run very wild and work myself up into a state of panic.

We will be in Northampton for the three day weekend, but I am so happy up there and so are the girls, so I thought we could get a jump start on the weekend. A little extra time for the girls and I while Nicole plugs away another couple days at work. Nicole could take a train to Hartford on Friday and we could pick her up. But my father is in town and I may or may see him today, so I need to stick around and see how that plays out.

Is anyone else afraid to sleep alone? Anyone else sleep with a cell phone and a Mag light under their pillow? Anyone else drawn to drama? Anyone else figure out how to maintain your dignity when dealing with a drama-prone individual? And while I am asking questions, anyone else planning on reading Game Change? It is sold out of EVERY book store in NYC. This, of course, only heightens my interest. I told Nicole if she sees a copy on someone’s desk at work, she is to steal it. I love reading some in-depth reporting now and then of the yellow variety.

Pictured above, guess who slept in our bed again last night? And I would like to point out she slept until 10:00 a.m. Nicole is trying to break her by forcing her to cry it out. I insist that she will go back to her bed like she always does when she is ready. Like in another week or so. In the meantime, the only one getting beauty rest around her is Madeline.


Amy said...

Yes, I'm not fond of sleeping alone. My husband and 2 year old went to visit my MIL last night to "give me a little break" and I slept worse last night than I do when they are home! I even had a sound machine set up so I didn't hear the creaks and cracks WHEN someone comes upstairs to murder me in my bed. I have two more nights of this... set me up with two Tylenol PM's bartender!
We live in a suburban neighborhood, I can only imagine my terror if we were out in the WOODS!
Have a fun weekend. Just wait for Nicole to go with you, you'll be much less miserable. :)

Molly said...

I think I told you this once, but when Mike is away, I shove a chair under the door to the basement, and push a couch up against the glass doors in the tv room. I have my cell phone on the bedside table, in case someone cuts the buried in the ground landlines to the phone.

Anonymous said...

Me, me, me! I hate to sleep alone and I am easily drawn into drama. It's quite unattractive. I tend to befriend black holes of emotional need. I hope to one day grow out of it. ;)

Malea said...

I finally broke the need to fix everyone's problem. Some people you'll notice feed off negative situations and wallow in theirs longer than they have to .

I would step slowly away from this individual.She probably has a long list of ears to listen to her.As a trusted friend once told me he said,"be careful you don't let other people's sh*t become your sh*t".It was a habit i cultivated out of a true sense of concern,but become detrimental to my peaceful existence.

I sleep alone all the No probs in that area.

Molly said...

I know you like to answer lists of questions so I tagged you in a meme if you feel like doing it....btw, I think I know who the individual is...

Jennifer said...

Molly I know you know who I am writing about! 99.999 percent of the time, you can fill in the blanks. You have, what, almost 25 years of my history?

I will do the meme tonight. LOVE a good distracting meme!

Shelli said...

I've tried to disengage from my mama drama, but that damn umbillical bungee cord keeps snapping me back for more. Le Sigh.

As for the anxiety, I LOVE my lexapro - and when the anxiety gets REAL bad? I have some klonopin. Or sometimes a glass of Shiraz, but I know you don't do that, so perhaps some warm milk? Something to take you physically from point A, and put you in point B, can shift the mind f*ck from time to time.

As for sleeping alone? I tend to fall asleep before Narda gets home, and I miss her when she's away, but having grown up an only child, and having grown up in Oregon, I kind of like a nice, quiet, dark cave of solitude for sleeping. I hate being alone when I'm awake, however. So there ya have it. Peter Sagel is my daytime companion. ;)