Friday, January 08, 2010

Soooomebody's Been Sleeping in Our Bed. Maybe Bette Davis.

Madeline speaks with a tone/accent that I can’t quite place, but it is a dash of the Bette Davis clipped staccato (how’s that for a random reference?) with a Boston consonant dropping tendency mixed in. “Pictures” are “pitch-ahs” in her toddler Bette Davis speak. She drops the R from Avery’s name and calls her “Avy.” That, of course, I find adorable. I wonder all the time if others can understand her without us translating, and worry because she is definitely behind Avery in the talking department. I’ve done my research and there doesn’t seem to be any major issues going on here. In the words/speaking department, Avery seems slightly above average and Maddie seems just slightly below average. But Maddie is more physically adept than Avery. Compare compare. When will it end?

This past week I have spent a lot of one-on-one time with Madeline. She has been going through one of her season sleeping issues. Usually, every three months or so, Maddie will cry out every night around 11:00 for a few days in a row. We just run in a get her and bring her to our bed (we don’t want her to wake Avery). And then it randomly stops and she stays in her crib all night and life goes back to normal.

This time, she won’t go into her crib at night. She will nap there, but when we try to put her down at night she screams till she hyperventilates and insists on our bed. So we bring her in there, tuck her in and she is just fine. When she wakes in the morning she spends AN HOUR (or more) there alone, talking to herself and reading through her books, and just lazing about. I’ll ask her if she wants to get up ad she will say no, bed. This morning, after I showered, I climbed back into bed with Maddie and she read, napped, cuddled and just relaxed until almost 9 while I sat next to her and read and did some work online. It was so sweet and bonding and I imagine parents of one child have experienced moments like that a lot. Maddie and I stayed there till almost 9:00, when I decided we better wake Avery up otherwise she will sleep the day away (Avery sleeps forever when Maddie isn’t there to wake her up).

I am amazed at how relaxed Maddie is, how low key she is, how different she is when she is without Avery. I am always dealing with the two of them as a duo. Always. They have a personality dynamic as a duo and then a different dynamic when they are solo. This reminds me how important it is to have alone time alone with each of them. And how much they need time alone so their own personality’s can grow and shine without being in the constant shadow/glare of their sister.

Speaking of personalities, I worked out this week with Jackie Warner! It was some special event done with Us magazine to promote her new workout DVD. That means I got a free DVD and a bag full of swag. The workout was great: I am still sore two days later. This reminds me that I really need to cross train because running is not enough, and it never makes me sore anymore. Jackie was a force to be reckoned with. All blonde and taut and tan and tight, tight abs. She seemed so more human and approachable in person than she does on TV. She had some great tips an great advice: My favorite was she said to put spinach in morning fruit shakes and she said that you wont taste the spinach. I was doubtful, but did it this morning and she is right: I couldn’t taste the spinach at all. She also says to always add fresh lemon to your water. It helps with liver detoxing or something and ups your calorie burn by 33 percent. So there are two little changes that I will test out. And I will be doing her workout DVD too and see if I end up blonde, tan and taut. (Hey, a girl can dream. I need to remind myself that she didn’t endure massive pregnancy weight gain and a C section.)

We head back to Northampton tonight. It is going to seem like such a short trip after our ten days there at the end of December. I can’t wait to leave. I made triple chocolate cookies and oatmeal raison cookies for our neighbors, who plowed our mountainous driveway, and for my friend Annie. Somehow I have a feeling all the cookies won’t make it up in the car. We four might be able to plow through a tall stack before they reach their intended destinations.

Pictured above, look who looks riiiiight at home in Mommy and Momma’s bed. Avery eating carrots: Proof that it isn’t all nuggets and fries! If you like Avery's shirt, my friend made them and sells them here on Etsy. Avery asks all the time to wear her BoBot shirt! Last picture: My shirt. Alas, no bobots. It was an impulsive spring buy: I am already looking forward to the spring thaw and summer heat!


suz said...

Interesting that you note the speech/physically adept difference. My friend is a speech pathologist and my daughter was a late babbler so I had a long discussion with her about it. One thing she said was that small children can only work on developing gross motor skills or fine motor skills at one time - speech is a fine motor skill. So it's likely that Avery is just more focused on fine motor skill (speech) at the moment and Maddie is focused on gross (physical) skills.

My daughter is exactly the age of your girls and she is probably above normal for speech but she still had a few words where she had issues (s in front of a consonant) and literally one day a few weeks ago she just started being able to pronounce it correctly. Not gradually either, one day she couldn't say it, next day she could.

The other piece of advice my friend gave me was that normal is a very wide range so as long as there aren't red flags (which it doesn't sound like there are), kids are just different and develop at different rates so don't sweat it.

K J and the kids said...

aw yes. compare compare compare.
I think we all do this. Thing is, I do this with my younger ones and older I wonder if it has nothing to do with twins at all. It is very easy to compare them against each other and I don't suppose it will ever end.

Have you tried putting her back in to her bed once she is asleep ? I'm sure you have. Just wondered. Sometimes this can help transition them back in to their own bed. However the time you spend alone in your bed is probably wonderful. maybe when you are both ready :)

Anonymous said...

Maybe Maddie needs a big girl bed. I had the same problem when my daughter was about the girl’s age. She already had a twin bed in her room...and since she had no problem sleeping in my bed I figured I would see what happened. It was great except then she could get out of bed any time she wanted...for the “I really need that thing of the moment NOW!” You know the "I do it mommy” reply for everything. :O)

The comparing never ends. I’ve twin god sons….they will be 18 in May. Their mother and I still spend so much time comparing them. On a side note….they were like the girls in that “K” was much better with the Physical things while “J” would talk your ear off. They eventually equaled out just like Suz said above. Funny thing is all thru their life….J will still talk your ear off…and K is always trying something that ends up breaking or cutting something on his poor body. They were 5 when K got his most visible scar. J says to his brother, “I wonder if we climbed up there if we could see over the fence”…well you guess it…K tried…and by the way you can see over the fence but when you fall…you end up with 8 stitches in your eye brow. When I asked J why he didn’t try climbing up and let K do it instead…he says to me, “no way….I don’t want to fall and get hurt…I was just wondering if we could”. L

Malea said...

I thought you an Nicole had "the talk" and you were going to pull up on the weight thing. The lemon in water to up the amount of calories you burn sounds counter productive to a healthy balanced weight?

Amanda aka MamaRobot said...

Hey, thanks for the plug! Have fun in the country, that sounds so cozy :)

Anonymous said...

It's the Katharine Hepburn hair I tell ya!

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CPG said...

We were so lucky that our eldest 2 kids had the same kindergarten teacher - and a more warm,insightful, nurturing woman you can't find. She also had 5+ children - and now, a career!
So one day, after comparing my son and daughter to her (for what I felt was the 100,000 time) I offered an apology because it was something I felt was not right, not "good" for me to do. And that wise lady told me something that put a completely different spin on the issue. And today, years later, it has made all the difference.

She said that she didn't look at it that we were "comparing" our children, but rather noticing, observing and acknowledging their differences, each ones individual uniqueness. Which makes them who they are in their own right.