The Lawsuit That Got Away....Maybe

About six weeks ago, I was in a major NYC food store (rhymes with “P-ristedes”) and had a bad fall. An embarrassing, flat-on-my-side kind of fall. One of the freezers along the back wall of the store was leaking and there was a big puddle, the size Lake Titicaca, that I somehow missed. In my haste to buy whatever it was I went to buy, I slid right into the puddle and fell hard on my ankle. I was a little stunned, and a couple of other shoppers came over to help me up. It hurt SO much. I got myself up and hobbled toward the exit, but my gait was slow enough that I saw one of the employees return to the scene with a mop and one of those danger cones.

I limped out of the store and back home, but the next day I was in so much pain I could barely walk. That has never happened to me before. Thirty-seven years on this planet and I have never limped. I had to hop to get around. We were going away that weekend (it was my birthday weekend) and we thought about canceling. But I didn’t want to do that so we kept our plans and hoped for the best.

Advil wasn’t cutting it. There were some extra Percocets left over from my C-section prescription. I didn’t finish the pills because I was so paranoid about breastfeeding and taking all these pain meds, even though all the doctors gave the ok, so I parsed them out and gritted through the pain, ostensibly to save my children from becoming addicted to pain meds in their first weeks of life. So I took the Percs while we were away and it help immeasurably with the pain. Within 20 minutes, I could walk with no problem. It is a miracle pill. Sure, I probably did extra damage by masking the pain and keeping on keeping on. But I am not the convalescing type. Thank you, Percoset, for getting me through hat rough week.

When it happened, one of the customers at the store mumbled that I should sue this store that rhymes with P-ristedes. But for what? I have health insurance, so any doctor visits are covered. I don’t have a physical labor job, so my income is not impacted. I had pills at home, so I didn’t even have to head to Duane Reade to get painkillers. The worst case scenario is I might have to go to the doctor and inconvenience Nicole to take a few hours off of work to stay with the girls. These things happen, and I was happy it wasn’t worse and I wasn’t going to sue. Besides, lawsuits take way too much time and money and note-taking. As my lawyer friend Jon says, lawsuits are not for the forgetful.

Except now, the pain is STILL there. A dull, throbbing pain that is intensified if I flex my foot or point the toes down. If I am sitting on the floor with the girls for a while, I feel it get tight. When I walk far distances, which I do daily in NYC, I feel a dull ache. I feel it when I run. The pain is not completely going away and I am pissed. But what’s a girl to do? Despite my revenge-driven theory that someone MUST pay for this, I am not going to sue. But I guess I have new insight into why people do sue, even when it seems like there experienced no real impact from an injury. It sucks that I have to deal with this because the store that rhymes with P-ristedes isn’t taking proper care of its freezers. (I have seen puddles there before, for the record.)

It’s Day Two of Green Monster, and I think this smoothie is better than the last: Bananas and blueberries and vanilla and milk. And the green powder. The semi-gross green power that promises oh so many things. Nicole tasted it today and declared it not undrinkable, but that very specific healthy powder flavor…well, it is a bit strong.

I am taking the powder on the road for a week, as I am heading to Long Island, where I will be hosting Camp Cousin. Leif and Skye are coming out for the week and I will be mothering four kids all. week. long. Yes, maybe I am biting off more than I can chew, but with a backyard and dens and kitchens and living rooms and dining rooms and a portable Bounce Castle, I feel empowered. I’ve created a menu for the week and will enforce a strict bedtime. There will be one movie per night, before bed, with popcorn. It is going to be difficult, but I am curious to see if the shake-in-the-morning helps me. I won’t be able to run, unless I get up WAY early and ask my mother to be in charge for that early morning hour. But we’ll see. I will be my new running shoes and maybe head to my old high school track, the site of many an embarrassing 440s and Presidential Fitness Tests.

Pictured above, Madeline in Nicole’s shoes. And the girls with Mommy.