Life in a Recession/Depression

The world is falling apart. The economic crisis Part of me prefers not to know things: I don’t want to know how much Nicole’s 401(k) lost; I don’t want to know how much money the girls’ college accounts have lost; I don’t want to know much low Nicole’s company stock is. This ignorance/choice to live in ignorance I liken to lane changing without looking.

I realized yesterday that the home equity loan my mother was living off of would have most likely been cut off. And with banks so tight with credit, etc., it might have been impossible for us to swoop in and save my mother from foreclosure and financial ruin. The economy was bad last March, but it is much, much worse now.

So part of me is living like we are on the verge of a Depression. I think I need to ration the amount of shampoo I squirt into my hand and I must find recipes that utilize the approximately 200 pounds of beans in my cabinets (an impulse buy at BJs). And all is going well for a day or two and then I blow it all because I MUST buy some ridiculous thing that we don’t need (for example, a new picture frame).

One purchase that I am happy with is Abby. Avery’s first word (that is, a word said clearly and in context) is “Abby,” as in the Sesame Street character. This was an unusual development, since she has never seen Sesame Street. However, as I wrote before, she does have a hand-me-down book that Nicole reads to her a lot, and Avery in particular loves it. So yesterday I took the girls to the toy store and bought an Abby doll. Avery loves it, or I guess I should say her. She puts Abby in the mini stroller and pushes her around. She gives Abby hugs and kisses. She just looks at Abby and says “Ahhh-beeeeeeeee.”

Avery was the lucky recipient of a new toy because she was such a good girl at the doctor’s. She has this cyst-like growth on her finger that is probably the size of one of those mini peas. The doctor said it was nothing scary, which is a HUGE relief, but said that we would have to see a hand surgeon because it is on her joint. And to remove it would require Avery to be under full anesthesia. The cyst isn’t hindering Avery’s hand growth at all, so removing it would be for cosmetic reasons, so there is no way we will remove it. Not until she is old enough to have it done with a local anesthesia in an office setting. The idea of her being fully under scares the hell out of me. And to subject her to that because of vanity (which would be ours at this point and not hers) is ridiculous. I was so grateful for our healthy girls and grateful that this is our biggest issue that I celebrated by buying the girls the aforementioned new toys.

Nicole leaves for San Francisco and I am flying solo again.

Pictured above, the girls napping at Aunt Mina’s.