Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Round and Round and Round and Round I Go

The weekend has come and gone, and not without incident. Why is it we are drawn to bad relationships? Why is it so hard to close doors on certain people? Because I need to live up to my arcane title every once in a while, let me be mysterious and annoyingly coy, but I have to say I am done with the trials and tribulations with one particular person. [Regular readers may have figured out the culprit already. And regular in-the-know readers can read all of the gory details soon in the down-low forum.]

Now it is Tuesday and the fog of the weekend has lifted and it is back to business as usual. My patience is a bit short these past couple of days. Not very auspicious timing, considering I think Avery is teething. I’m not sure, but I put together runny nose and lack of appetite and giant white thing pushing through fleshy gum and came up with teething. I’m a genius. This makes her a bit cranky. And by a bit I mean Good grief just PLEASE just calm down for two seconds. Teething for Avery means she wants constant attention, an impossible feat with two babies. And this teething is coinciding with her desire to climb everything in sight. I mean everything. Now the peek-a-boo game of Where’s Avery? is not so funny when “where” turn out to be on top of the couch or on a table. So it is PAY ATTENTION TO ME plus watch-me-try-to-climb-out-the-window.

People seem to bathe their children far more than I do my own. Meaning, their hair is crusted with food sometimes before I attempt the whole bath thing. I blame my own limitations/desire to not be radically uncomfortable on this. It is hard, minding two slick, squirmy and excited babies who refuse to sit down in the tub. Avery loves the water. She tries to drink it. She like to splash it. And she loves, above all other things, standing up in it. Madeline is more likely to sit on her chunky butt and not move as much. But when she gets it in her mind that it is time to stand there is no telling her otherwise.

Both girls seem to understand no, and gleefully shake their heads back and forth in imitation of me. Both girls also see the word “no” as a chance to turn any activity into a game. Pulling books off the shelf is just a task or chore that they must do with regularity. But as soon as I say NO it becomes The World’s Funnest Game. [Yes, I know “funnest” is not a word.]

So leaning over the tub, at the end of the day, trying to keep the girls safe from porcelain harm is just not my idea of a fun time. A quick survey of others indicated that I am way below the national average of baby bathing. I usually wait for Nicole and we do it together but I know this isn’t fun for her either. I like to have the girls feed and in their pajamas by the time she gets home so we all can just have fun, relaxing family time. Not Bath Hell time.

On a completely unrelated note, I was in the food store the other day and it was hot and I was cranky and tired and weighed down by gallons of milk and juice and other staples that I seem to need to buy on a more than regular basis. I am waiting on line to pay with Avery, who is attempting to Houdini her way out of the now-not-moving stroller and Madeline, who is trying to wrench herself out of the Bjorn. These girls do not like to stop and wait on lines. And this man in front of us looks at Avery and says “Looks like she needs a tissue.” To which I reply “Oh, look at that. I don’t have one.” To which he replies (doesn’t anyone else agree the banter should have stopped there?) “Wow, but she really needs one.” So I lean over (no easy feat with a 23 pound human strapped to you) and lift Avery’s shirt and wipe her nose with her own shirt. Problem solved. Now leave me alone, strange, talkative, nosey, interfering, tissue-obsessed man.

Tomorrow night is the George Michael concert. I am excited. We have amazing seats. Part of me is tempted to sell my ticket (they are going for as much as $1,000 each for our seat area online!) but that wouldn’t be fun, would it. Apparently there is an intermission. I am not sure how I feel about intermissions in a concert. This is a concert, not an opera.

Pictured above, Miss Avery. She looks a wee cranky in the bottom picture, no? She climbed on my lap while I was typing this and pitched a it till I hoisted her up. And she loves to look at herself on the screen, hence why I have thousands of pictures just like these.


K J and the kids said...

I too remember the no being a game.
I also remember screaming with such anger NO to get my point across and still it fell on deaf ears. My fight was throwing food on the floor. especially rice. :) ya nice.
They learn. persistance, persistance, persistance.
Oh and my kids were NEVER bathed regularly. I have to bathe them more now because they come in the house caked with sunscreen and sand most nights.

My suggestion is...no play time. Warn them to sit making sure that .no. comes with a, mommy's serious, sit your ass down tone...then tell them, you sit down or you get out. If they stand again, wash them and get them out. They will get it. especially if tub time is usually fun for them.

ms.bri said...

I am sure you have tried this or thought of it or whatever, but what if you just bathe them one at a time? Like one night after Nicole gets home it's Madeline's night and the next it's Avery's. Maybe bath time could turn into special one on one time with one of you? While the other is having special time with the other? I know there are logistics here that I don't understand but thought I'd be an annoying singleton mom and put it out there.

Malea said...

I'm not a mom yet,but have kepted friends kids as a favor when they wanted a week of vaca alone during the summers.I find that regular bathing started as infant makes it just another routine when they get older.The only time they are permitted to stand up is when they are getting out.Otherwise,it's straight to bed and no story time for the disobedient one.I bathe all of them up to three kids at one time.It saves my back,knees,and time:)I agree with one of the other commentors that it has to be a fun time with toys that float,"special" shampoos and games you play(soaping up,rinsing off) that makes it something they like to do.

With older kids I would schedule slip and slide or some other water game in the late evening.And then when play time was over I'd bring out the shampoo,lather them up and hose them all down.They'd dry off before they went inside to take off their swim suits and put on their jammies.

**Alot of these kids I would babysit for years to come and it was a breeze, because they knew what was expected and good hygiene and good behavior meant lots of freedom for them to do things mom and dad wouldn't allow them to do.

As far as the teething goes my sister put me on to "teething pills" she found in the Rx department of store.My nephew was horrible when he started to teeth and those pills made a world of difference in the screaming and slobbering he did.

Anonymous said...

P always bathes the boys because I can't freaking stand it, especially after I've been dealing with them alone for a few hours. But there are times when he gets fed up, too, and then I have to bathe them to keep all of us sane and safe, LOL! I have started pouring Burt's Beez baby wash into running water to create a bubble bath, but this may only work to stir your girls up even more. I think maybe twins go without baths more than the average singleton, and for good reason!

I too have done the shirt-as-tissue maneuver in public. Oh well.

suz said...

I have Avery's daredevil twin living in my house. She fell backwards off a kitchen chair AND the couch last week because I didn't know she could climb that well.

Don't you love the advice from strangers? I got a "where's her shoes" comment at Costco. Uh, my kid just started walking and she's in a cart right now - one I carried her to - so MYOB lady!

psapph0 said...

I wonder what you are considering to be a national average for baby bathing, because i do believe it changes from nation to nation.

In Germany, I have come to understand, it is normal to bathe your baby every 3 or 4 days, as opposed to every day or every other day. And children? Well, so long as they touch water once a week or twice a week, all is well. And that water may just be on a washcloth.

BA said...

I finally discovered that if I bathe with my son, it kills 2 birds with 1 stone. We get to spend time together and both get clean. Maybe try bathing with the girls and see what happens. Of course twins are a totally diferent story, so it may not work for you.

cristin said...

oh oh oh! I want to be an in the know reader!! But sadly, I'm a lurker. But I have commented in the past. Maybe once or twice.

Going to sulk.... ;-)

I am not a bather either. I get a little sad when I think that other people give their children a bath every.single.night. Sad because I don't have the desire to do that...umm...ever! My baby is full crusty before I stick his stinky (literally sometimes) ass (mostly the balls stink, tmi?) in the tub. Well, that all sounded very bad, no? He gets bathed twice a week (three times in a good week). I'm rambling. Rambly McRambleson here.

Sorry about the teething :-(

Kerry Lynn said...

We're roughly two baths a week too. I've given up trying to make them sit. It's just not possible. I'd love to do them separately but the one that is left out screams the whole time, then we swap. It's not ideal.