It’s A Bullet List Kind of Morning....

• Avery needs a harness and Madeline needs a tether. Avery will go in every direction, fascinated and interested in every clump of atoms in her line of sight. She is like a little firecracker, exploding with joy all over the place, unable to decide What To Play With or Look At Next Because There Are So Many Options. A harness would help keep her contained. Madeline needs her space. She needs to roam far and wide and doesn’t mind not seeing us at all. A common sight in this house is her little body rounding a corner, and disappearing down a hall. A tether would keep Madeline connected to us while giving her the freedom she needs. Better yet, tie Madeline’s tether to Avery’s harness and they will form a Tasmanian devil-like vortex, spinning in circles.

• We are leaving on a jet plane (did you all sing it too?) later this morning and I am anxious. Very anxious. I just don’t like flying. I told Nicole that I need to be able to be Bossy today, telling her what to do before we leave, so I can feel in control of something. She gamely agreed. So starting at 7:00ish this morning I will be telling her to empty the kitchen garbage and wipe down the dining room table and throw the chicken out. I will be Boss Lady and all order will be restored in the world, one chore at a time.

• I have always said that I don’t look good in a one-piece bathing suit and look much better in a bikini. That seems so impossible to be true, I know. But let me explain: This is not to say I look like a swimsuit model in a two-piece. Far far far from it. But if I have to put on a swimming costume, then it will be a bikini and I will try to spend as much time laying flat on my back, stretched out a little, which hides all the little bulges, wiggles and jiggles that pop out when I stand/walk. Nicole has never seen me in a one piece so I dragged one out of the nether regions of my drawer and put on a mini swimwear fashion show. In the bikini vs. Speedo smack down, the bikini won by miles. Nicole even seemed a little shocked at just how unflattering the one piece looked on me. If I had any guts I would post pictures. It’s bizarre how less clothes sometimes covers me up better.

• Yep, Judy, you nailed it! You know exactly where we were over the weekend. It is a beautiful spot, no? I think I will be spending many an afternoon there, if anyone cares to join. Such a little New York City secret.

• There’s a story on cnn.com that states New York will recognize gay marriages. Failing to recognize gay marriages is a violation of human rights. Do you see the crap I have to deal with daily? My human rights being violated. First step: Nicole and I will be legally recognized, thus making miles and miles of extra paperwork unnecessary and sending conservatives into a tailspin. Next step: Once we have the right to marry, we will lobby for the right to marry pets/furniture. Isn’t that what people are afraid of? Psappho, please explain how this will/won’t affect us New Yorkers. The ruling, that is,not being betrothed to furniture. And while you are at it, could you just create a cable access show so you can have a platform? That is your summer assignment, if you aren’t too busy. (Updated to add: Scrooge McLesbian I mean Nicole is up and when I told her the good news, she said it doesn't matter because we can't get married in Massachusetts because we have to be residents. So much fr her dropping to her knees and proposing this morning. If we can't marry in Mass then it doesn't matter if we have recognized marriages here in NY. I need a bat signal for Psappho.)

• On Tuesday Nicole flew up to Boston for a meeting. The meeting adjourned and she was back on the shuttle by 1:00 to speed back to NYC. She called me to tell me how she was just going to come back home and work from here for the rest of the day. Joy! But due to thunderstorms and such, she sat on the runway for EIGHT hours. On a Delta shuttle. With no book and nothing but a three-year old granola bar excavated from the corner of her bag. She didn’t get home until 10:Something. I told her if that had been me, we all would have heard about it on the evening news, as I would have gone crazy.

• So yesterday I go to the gym at my regular 5:30 a.m. time and the doors were locked. The person opening the gym forgot his keys. There was a small and growing mob of us who waited 45 minutes until someone else could come with a set of keys. Why Lexapro is Good: I waited patiently and didn’t freak out at all. A little bump in the road, this was, that’s all. In fact, I tried to make the poor guy feel better by making jokes about Mentos commercials and leading an aerobics workout in the lobby. Why Lexapro is Bad: Shouldn’t I have just gone home? Skipped a day? Thing is, I skipped the day before ad I thought I couldn’t possibly skip two days in a row. I waited because not going seem to have greater consequences. This requires more thought than I am capable of right now.

• My next post will be from sunny, sweaty, humid, pastel and neon-pink Florida. We are staying at Nicole’s parents. They live on a lake (does everyone in Florida live on some body of water? A lake, a canal, a pond, an intracoastal waterway…) and we look forward to watching the girls play along its shores. I’ll bet you all a dollar that Avery will drink the water. I’ll be posting lots of pictures.

• If you have the energy, please send some positive thoughts my way around noonish EST. That is when we will be boarding JetBlue and heading down to Florida. Traveling down the eastern seaboard, each of us with a baby on our laps seems impossible. The girls will spend less than 30 seconds on my lap before trying to wiggle down. So three hours? How?? I envision walking up and down the aisles for the duration of the flight with an antsy child. How Mina does this going to Japan, with two kids, I will ever know.

• I’m off to the gym to try to pound of some anxiety on the treadmill.

• Pictured above: Look at them in the tub. She how Avery is all over the place? And Madeline has her back turned to Nicole? Below that, Miss Maddie, indulging in my picture taking. And below that, a memory that lights the corner of my mind: One of Madeline’s first baths at home. Or is that Avery?? Either way, look at her little belly button stump.