First, I want to thank everyone for their comments. I reread them multiple times over this long weekend. I know that many people think that blogs cannot take the place of therapy, but sometimes I completely disagree. There were so many little nuggets of wisdom in those comments. One that was really helpful was from Vera: She wrote that I should look at what behaviors enhance my life and which ones make it harder to get through the day. Maybe this is how most people operate but until I read that, I just never thought to look at it through that particular lens. Even as I am typing this I hate that I am making this reference but that statement was akin to an Oprah A-ha moment. I just assumed all organization behavior was a descendant of Control Freak-itis. While they share a common thread of control, the control manifests itself in good an bad ways. Not all control is bad. Making lists and menu planning enhance my life. Having the girls on a schedule enhances my life and theirs. Obsessing over a bag of pretzels makes it harder to get through the day. Seriously, with that one sentence alone I was able to take a honest look at the myriad behaviors and really figure out which were problems.
We had such a great, great weekend. We stayed here in the city, which everyone who lives in the city knows can be amazing on a holiday weekend, because the city is empty. Well, on Saturday I drove out to Long Island by myself for a friend’s BBQ. It was at 5:00, which is smack dab in the middle of dining time for the girls and close to bedtime, so we figured the most logical thing was for me to go by myself and for Nicole to stay with the girls. I was excited for this Me Time, and looked forward to the drive out, listening to the radio. I panicked when I realized that we just replaced the car battery so the radio wouldn’t work until we entered the code, which I did not have. I called Nicole in Disaster Mode, and she found the code, thank goodness, and all was well, because otherwise I would have missed hearing on the radio “Baby Got Back” (which, after listening carefully to the lyrics, really is a very empowering song). I have to say it was so nice to be able to talk with my friends and hold their babies and socialize. But I missed the girls and couldn’t wait to see them the next day.
Sunday was great. We walked around Chelsea and had lunch. Nicole commented that she felt human again, doing the things that we used to do. Sunday we went for a walk through the Bird Sanctuary in Central Park and saw a heron, an egret, a GIANT (size of a football-ish) goldfish and Jon Stew.art and his family. That was the coolest celebrity sighting we have had in a long time. It reminded me that I want to Tivo The Daily Show.
And now it is back to business as usual. Nicole is in Boston today for work, which, believe it our not, usually means she gets home earlier than she does when she is in her office here in the city. If she gets on an earlier shuttle, she can be walking though our door before 5. Today on my agenda is packing for our Florida trip. We leave in two days and needless to say, the flying anxiety dreams are in full force. And I am wondering how these two walking babies are going to handle sitting on laps for the plane ride down. It was easy when they were five months, but now?
The girls will be One on Sunday. Where did this year go?
Pictured above, Miss Madeline and Mommy in the park; the girls in Chelsea on Sunday; me and the beautiful little Francesca; and Madeline, who does not want to be photographed and instead wants to walk around. This could be me in a couple days for three hours on an airplane, without the smile.
5 comments:
I think you are standing very near where M and I have a place on West 21st. No? Funny about the celebrity. last week, when we came down for the weekend, our kids were playing ball with Ethan Hawk and his two kids in that wonderful playground behind our brownstone.
Beautiful pictures and congrats on your new found insight.
no WAY will they be one in a week! No way!! It feels like just yesterday that I was marveling at your amazing hand sore!
That is a very cool celebrity sighting. Did you do the nod?
& can I just say that the girls in button down oxfords is probably the cutest thing I have seen in ages.
xo
me too, i read and re-read the comments on your last post and i learned a lot, a lot to think about. another thing i have been reading is this book: Emotionally Healthy Twins by Joan Freedman.
it's a quick read and pretty good, written by a psychologist who is an identical twin and who has twins (and 3 other kids as well)! anyhow, in the book she talks a lot about the psychology of moms during the twin baby times and i was surprised to read just how much anxiety and need for control is common and expected. i got wet eyes a few times when i realized i am not crazy and that my behavior, while not all the time productive, is not exactly original in our situation.
there's a lot of other good stuff in there as well. the cool thing is, my neighbor ran up to me one day as i was putting the babies in the car and handed it to me - she was in the bookstore and thought of us and bought it for us. is that not cool?
glad you had a wonderful weekend and even got away!! you go girl. also, my boy and girl turn ONE in about 1.5 weeks. how did we make it this far? are we here already? it seems like yesterday we were blogging about egg harvesting. how are we so lucky?
I think the city is best during holiday weekends. I felt like I lived in the burbs when I packed the car up (with many many bags) in front of our apartment on Saturday morning. No traffic, no squeezing by giving us an annoyed look about our double stroller. Just me and bags, pack n play and all that other stuff....
You def got a lot of good comments about control. I get nuts with all the crap, and bags and packing. For me the less the better.
My lovely partner loves and plans all the bag packing and extra stuff. I ask constantly - what the hell did slaves do in the fields with kids??? Do we really need all this crap for a weekend???Her answer is- of course. I guess the answer is balance. Not sure how to find that.
A bird sanctuary- in Central Park? That is an awesome find.
I love these pictures!! Your family could totally be in a magazine. Everyone looks so happy and sun filled. Even Maddy who didn't want her picture taken.
Your mom dropped the clothes off a the shop. They are all adorable and will fit him perfectly. I have to say that most of his clothes are unisex as well. This weekend he was definately dressed like a little girl. Oh well. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I don't have many sizes over 9 months so this will be great. And the shoes....to die for!!
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