Sunday, March 30, 2008

Good Grief, The Coffee Maker is Set for 4:45 a.m.

After a few rounds of “how to fit it all in” conversations, Nicole and I discussed the necessity of waking up earlier. Nicole usually gets up with the girls in the morning (which now, post daylight savings, means usually between 5:30 and 6:30) and changes them, gives them their bottles and settles them into their chairs to watch “Sunrise Earth.” When she needs to leave for work she wakes me up and gives me the “I have to leave in about 15 minutes” nudge. Between one and fourteen minutes later, I drag myself out of bed, put on my glasses and move to the living room, where two unnaturally awake and alert boundless-energy babies demand more attention than my exhausted self can provide.

This is why I need to go to they gym in the morning. I need that buffer time, the just-me time, so I can get through the day. Plus, working out gives me huge amounts of energy. I literally get more done by ten a.m. than I would on a non-gym day. And it obviously gives me strength, which I really need right now as I am pushing around about 100 pounds’ worth of baby and stroller and accoutrements.

Sometime earlier this year (2008 is flying) I fell of the gym wagon. This happens to me almost every winter, when the weather changes and the mornings are so dark and it gets harder and harder to drag myself out of a warm bed. This year, my daily 5:30 a.m visits were impossible to keep up with as my insomnia peaked and the girls went through a rough sleeping patch. I’d fall into a fitful sleep ’round midnight and be woken up by a baby in an hour or two and maybe another a few hours after that. When the alarm went off at 5:00 I had no problem telling Nicole to turn it off (it’s on her night table) and rolling over to sleep until Nicole needed to leave.

The effects of gym-skipping was (is?) ten pounds and an all-time energy low at a time when I needed to have an all-time energy high. The ten pounds bothers me and doesn’t, if that makes sense. I hate tight clothes and yo-yo-ing and all the vain stuff. But, on the other hand, what more can I do? Every ounce of my energy goes to the girls and our home. Every single ounce. And I would rather have happy children and a happy home than rock-hard abs.

I try to cut myself some slack, but for a pseudo perfectionist such as myself who is all-or-nothing all of the time, it’s hard to give myself a break. And I want all: Time with the babies and time with Nicole and time with my friends and time by myself and time to do creative things and time to read and time to learn how to make quilts and time to go the gym.

But I am taking care of two babies by myself, with no breaks until Nicole gets home from work (about a half hour before they go to bed). I have not spent a stretch longer than maybe two hours away from the girls in the past six months. (Meaning, I go for manicures and such and get breaks when Nicole is around, but it is not like I am taking off for a full day of shopping or planning a weekend away). I love my babies to pieces, but I need a break from them sometimes, I really do.

Going to the gym at night just doesn’t work. I am not skipping out for an hour when Nicole gets home. Besides, it gets me revved up and I have a hard time sleeping (surprise). The morning really is my only time. The benefits are many but getting up that early, I am dreading. Dreading.

So Monday morning the alarm is going off impossibly early and I will drag myself out of bed, put on my gym clothes begin again. There will lots more on that subject, but that’s enough for now.

In other news, our sixth anniversary is on Tuesday, which lead to this exchange today as we went out to pick up lunch:

Me: I just want to point out, for the record, that Tiffany is only a five-minute walk from here.
Nicole: It’s too bad you can’t wear your mother’s house on your finger.

Touché! However, one year I got Nicole a tool box for our anniversary so I feel like I have no right to make demands. And besides, I was only joking when I said that. Sort of.

The cheating poll is so interesting. It is almost 50/50, which is way above every poll I read in books and magazines. I think it’s time for a new poll. Lots of blogs lately have been focusing on sex life (or lack thereof) which makes me wonder how often are people really doing it? What we admit to friends is usually WAY different than what really goes on. I am so curious what the truth is.

Pictured above, the little troublemakers. We need to make a clean sweep of our home and remove all tempting things from their level. But I am just not ready to do it yet. But Avery just ripped off the cover of an old but not too valuable copy King Kong, so I think the complacent clock is ticking….


Anonymous said...

I feel ridiculously depressed clicking the once a month or less. especially since the last time our bed has seen action with the two of us together was valentines day. Is it sad that i just find it easier to "do it myself"?

Anonymous said...

I second your comment there... well... sort of. I don't really mind clicking the "once a month or less" circle... my partner and I both agree that we just don't have time and that "do it yourself," is far easier and the time in between makes it all the more fun when that once a month moment rolls around.

Also- it varies. Sometimes it's less than once a month and then there is sometimes a stretch of days or weeks or months that makes up for the whole rest of the year!

Anonymous said...

Where's the 'once a year or less' option? yeah. my sex life is over. lesbian bed death...hello!

Anonymous said...

OK so based on the above comments, sex means doin' it with another person? Just so I don't throw the results off,...right.

Anonymous said...

I feel so sexless that I only 'do it myself' if I can't get to sleep. Surest way to fall asleep. Otherwise, no thanks. I used to be such a sex-oriented being. Maybe I used it all up in my 20's.

ms.bri said...

Our anniversary was last week, also 6 years. Well, 6 years married, 11 years together.

I bow to your early rising and your taking steps to do things for yourself. I feel constantly guilty for not getting out.

Anonymous said...

My wife and I really prioritize having sex one time a week. Normally we have intimate time on Saturday or Sunday during our sons nap.

We have found that our sex life has become more enjoyable since having kids, even if it is more challenging to plan and much more rushed!

UtRus said...

have you considered getting a part-time babysitter - take the cash you would have spent on Tiffany (hah!) and maybe get someone to come and watch the girls for 3 or 4 hours 3 X times a week or something. This way you don't have to get up quite so early to go to the gym.... it's hard in a way to leave the kiddies with someone else, but once you find someone you trust, i think it has been really good for me and really good for the babies, too.

now, about the sex thing... oh yeah. sex. i heard about that. isn't that the thing where two people get under the covers and ... but i can't really remember. sigh.

Anonymous said...

I have to admit that we have totally fallen into the once a month or less category. I can't even believe this, and I am cringing as I am writing it-- we just are so busy. We've also been ttc and I had a miscarriage in February, so that definitely put a damper on things (for me at least).

This is something I spend a lot of time feeling really guilty about-- it is not that I don't want to do it and not that I am not attracted to my partner, it is just that most nights I fall into bed totally exhausted. We're a lesbian stereotype. :(