Transitions

Today I left the apartment for the second time alone. The first time was yesterday, when I went to get the sutures taken out of my hand. And today I went down to Union Square for a BabiesR*Us visit. That involved a subway ride, so it seemed much more serious than the doctor’s appointment. The world now moves at a faster pace than I am used to. Or maybe my pace has slowed down. But everything just seemed so loud and abrasive and high speed, moving at the speed of light. And I feel slower and calmer than all that. Not to mention sloppy: Picture me with dried breast milk (from pumping) on my skirt and food stains on my shirt from one-handed eating. Lovely image, isn’t it?

I guess I am going through some transitions. Everything/everyone just seems so different.

The pain from the C section is all gone and has now been replaced with some intense shoulder and tricep pain. Apparently, according to my doctor, this is common when women begin breastfeeding, especially twins. My posture isn’t helping matters: To see what I mean just look at the picture from my last post of me holding Maddie. I’m like a vulture. Shoulders scrunched up, all tense. The pain is awful. Once again, I have a hard time picking up and holding and feeding the babies. But I do it anyway, which is making everything worse. My doctor gave me some exercises to do and some codeine, which really helps to minimize the pain for a while. I hate taking all these medicines, but what good am I if I can’t move without pain?

Nicole goes back to work on Monday and I am not quite ready for that. I like having her around all the time. I’ve said this before, but I just am not the type that needs a lot of space away from her. That might be unhealthy for some, but it works for us. I forget that we have these new roles to step into: Nicole the Provider and me the Homemaker. I guess we practiced these roles during the pregnancy, since I wasn’t working, and even, to a lesser extent, during our entire relationship. But that all seemed so trail run. Now it’s the real deal, complete with two extra little lives to take care of. Another transition.

These babies must be going through a growth spurt because they want to eat all the time Every time I turn around, they have their little fists shoved in their mouths or they are rooting around. They still think that nighttime is daytime, and get up every hour and a half or so. But during the day, they can nap for 4 hours straight, if we let them. We just ordered a sleep book so hopefully we will get this sleeping behavior in check some time soon.

Pictured above are A&M. Forgive my proud parent moment, but aren’t they so cute? The funny thing is, you’d think that they would have some sort of special twin bond, but these two are going through a stage where they don’t exactly seem enamored with each other’s presence. Avery tries to BF off of any of Maddie’s parts and Maddie, in turns, kicks, punches and pushes Miss Avery away. It’s cute to watch now, but we hope they outgrow this stage.