This House Is Cleeeee-an*

My mother came in for the weekend to help me spring clean. She came in on Friday and we spent that entire day cleaning the kitchen. Every cabinet, drawer, shelf, hutch and rack was wiped, cleaned, disinfected and organized. The fridge was emptied and cleaned. The stove was cleaned. The chair bottoms were re-felted. The floor was polished. Our kitchen could model now, it is that beautiful.

I literally couldn’t have done this alone, so I am very grateful that my mother came in to help. Bonus: She alleviated the load bit for Nicole, who has her hands full with her full-time job. In theory, I should be doing this myself, since being home is my full-time job, but I am not up to it these days. Oh-so-simple little things are such a chore for me. I think long and hard if it is worth the trip from the living room to the kitchen when I am thirsty. If I sit on the couch to watch TV and the remote isn’t near me, I don’t watch TV. If I drop something on the floor I literally spend 20 seconds debating if it is worth it or not to bend down and pick up. If it was worth it to pick up, I kick said object to another location so I can sit on a chair and then lean over to pick it up and then rest for five minutes. And given the chance, I can pack in three naps a day.

But this weekend, I think I pushed myself a little too hard. I’ve never been very good at setting limits. But by the end of this cleaning frenzy, I was just spent. I felt guilty taking little breaks when my mother was working away so I just kept working. And now I am paying for it. When I stand up, I feel like my bones and joints take an additional 20 seconds to realize they are not in take-it-easy mode anymore. By the time they catch up, I’m usually ready to crumple into a rest position again. If I continue my walk (and I am using the word “walk” loosely) I’m in full-waddle mode. As long as I am registering complaints, I have cankles and am also suffering from severe carpal tunnel. I literally can’t bend some of my fingers when I wake up in the morning. They are like claws. It takes about a half hour for the extreme pain to subside and then I deal with low to moderate pain for the rest of the day. Thank goodness I am a hunt-and-peck typer or the computer would be off-limits.

And for those of you who measure your expanding bellies, mine is almost 48 inches around at its widest part! That’s four feet, at 34 weeks. I wonder how much more it can grow!

But despite all of these issues, I am happy that they are all related to baby-making. I never really appreciated my body or strength until these two little beings showed me who’s boss. From the time they were the size of a period at the end of a sentence, they ruled my universe. It is the first lesson of many that I will learn from them, I’m sure.

I have my appointment with Dr. It Doesn’t Bother Me tomorrow, and I am hoping we will be able to talk about what happens next. But tonight, what happens next for me is Carvel ice cream from the freezer. Just doing my duty to add more inches….

Pictured above is our baby shrine, which my mother started to dismantle (gasp!) over the weekend until my panic-y cries stopped her in her tracks. The shrine includes:
• The hospital bracelet I wore at the transfer
• The lighting sticks I used to light candles at a local church
• A picture of Nicole, which was safety pinned in my gown a transfer
• A picture of Leif and Skye, also safety pinned in my gown at transfer
• A religious medal given to me by my twin mom friend Jen
• A beautiful ruby ring that my SIL gave me that belonged to her mother
• Three leaves, one for each embryo, collected from our good-luck-fertility tree in Central Park on my way to the transfer
• There area also a few good luck pennies

* Above title is a reference to Poltergeist.