Enough About Me....

One day home and truthfully, my life isn’t much different than it was in the hospital. I know I keep saying this, but I am astonished at how my energy levels are dropping by the day. Today, I had to work up the inertia just to take out the recycling. By “take out,” I mean bring it down the hall. Not a difficult task, yet it felt like moving mountains to me. I thought long and hard about showering, because that entails so many tasks that I don’t excel at, like bending and reaching and dressing myself. If I drop the soap one more time in the shower…..

I woke up in the middle of the night thinking maybe I was starting to go into labor. I was really nauseous and having contractions and I felt pain in my back and pressure on my cervix. Now each and every one of these symptoms can be easily explained and justified. Maybe my dinner made me sick to my stomach (spicy Thai rice) and the back pain could be from how I was sitting on the couch. Cervix pain could be Baby A and the contractions, well, what else can my uterus do these days? Still, I was up from 2:00 am till almost 6:00. And even though everyone says that you’ll know when you are in labor, why do I have the feeling I won’t?

The PG is getting bigger, much to my consternation. The doctor said it could get bigger—maybe even double in size—but I thought/hoped/prayed that won’t happen. Ha. I am still all stressed about the cancer thing. Lots of websites indicate that certain cancers mimic PGs and the only way to be certain is to biopsy it. The fact that it keeps growing just freaks me out. I know I shouldn’t worry, but, well, I’m the worrying type. Wednesday (appointment day with hand surgeon) can’t come soon enough. I have lots of pictures and I will try to upload them later and post a link for those of you who really want to see it.

It occurred to me that I never completed the Seven Things About Me meme that I was tagged for. Since my life is pretty much an open book, I think I will write seven things about Nicole instead. After all, she is an extension of me. And she can’t defend herself, so this can be fun! I won’t get to all seven in one post, but let’s get started:

1. Sleeping Habits: If Nicole could go to bed at 7:30 pm, she would. She loves her sleep, which is diametrically opposed to me, as I am happy with five hours a night. Most nights she is in bed by 9:30, but there are nights when she heads off much earlier than that under the guise of “reading,” but in reality, she just goes to sleep. She can’t sleep unless the bedroom closet door is completely closed. And she can’t sleep without white noise as provided by an antique fan that sits in the corner of our room. This rickety thing isn’t not child- or adult-safe. The cord looks like it is going to burn up any day now. And there is only an insinuation of a cage covering it, so if you walk by it too close your pajamas/clothes will be sucked into it, making a horrifyingly loud noise akin to jet engines. I try to convince her to get a newer, safer fan—perhaps something old-fashioned looking from Restorat.ion Hardwa.re—but she refuses. She is attached to the fan and I fear even toddling children won’t convince her to get a new one. Nicole is also prone to night not-quite terrors. She will wake up in the middle of the night yelling about crabs coming down from the ceiling and such. Sometimes she will just jump out of bed and run to the door. I have learned that engaging her in conversation will only make things worse, so the best thing to do is coax her back to bed and ignore her when she speaks in tongues. She recalls none of it in the morning.

2. Food Excitement: Nicole experiences Food Excitement on a semi-regular basis. This means that her mood is considerably brightened when the prospect of certain foods are in her near future. How this manifests itself: Quick hand claps, hopping up and down, and kisses for me. Foods that almost always induce food excitement include: black and white milkshakes, chocolate chip cookies, Carvel ice cream, Mister Softee, cupcakes and homemade cakes with a glass of milk. “Real” foods like sushi or hamburgers or pasta or pizza can cause food excitement too, but there has to be a considerable length of time between meals and true hunger pains. About once a year, Chinese food and buffalo wings will cause FE, which will almost immediately lead to Food Remorse.

I just heard Nicole open the freezer for an ice-cream sandwich. I just had a toasted almond bar. It was Old School Ice Cream Night in our house.

Three through Seven to come….

Pictured above is my bandaged, zombie-like hand. The bandage cushions the PG, but it is still hard for me to grip or hold anything. Ugh.