Like Clockwork

All the books I read insist that I will start recognizing the babies’ sleeping and waking patterns in utero. I have found this to be a stretch: They seem to move when they want, in no discernable pattern. They have busy days and quiet days (scary). There are mornings when I drink orange juice and lay on my side and nothing. And then there are days when I drink nothing and sit up and they are punching like crazy. It’s all quite random….but I must say that one pattern is revealing itself: Like clockwork around 10:00 pm the babies wake up and reorganize themselves for a half hour or so. They are kicking and punching and rolling with such force that I can just watch my stomach move. By this time Nicole is already asleep so I am the only one to witness this phenomenon.

The other pattern that is revealing itself are nighttime bathroom breaks. Last night I got up seven times, which is about average for me. It involves much maneuvering to get to the side of the bed, swing my feet over and drop to the ground (our mattress is high off the floor). And then I have this interesting hand-and-foot thing going on. I’m going to go ahead and diagnoses bloating in both. Since I have removed my rings and resorted to flip-flop wearing, I don’t exactly know for sure, but I really think I am seeing little sausages when I look at my fingers. My hands and feet feel sore like they were punched. It hurts to make a fist and walking or standing for periods of time is not so fun. The only bright side of this is this means I don’t have to iron anymore! For this last month I will be dropping off the ironing at the dry cleaners!

Bad nights’ sleeps means more daytime napping. I usually nap in the morning, after I wake up, for about an hour or so. Something about sleeping on the couch agrees with me. Also, I will nap on the couch with Nicole when she is watching one of her “shows”, which arguably happens only once a week, tops, but still. This weekend, it was some train wreck called “Crocodile” or “Alligator.” The problem with these shows is that they are not good to nap to, because there are always chainsaws and screaming and hammering and unusual creature noises and dying creature noises in the background. I’ll be on the precipice of sleep when the sound of an alligator/crocodile ripping off the head of some damsel in distress snaps me back to the land of the wakeful.

On Saturday night, Nicole planned a small surprise graduation dinner with friends at a restaurant. There was a woman at a table near us who told me as we were leaving that she had twins. She delivered at 42 weeks (!). I wanted to hit her with so many questions: How long was her cervix? Was she induced? Was she uncomfortable? Isn’t it dangerous to deliver that late, because from what I read the uterus gets so distended that it can’t contract properly back to its natural shape and hemorrhaging sometimes ensues. Her babies were just under 7 pounds each, that much I did ascertain. But my babies, at 32 weeks, are already almost 5 pounds each. Which means if I were to estimate it, they would be 7 pounds each by 36 weeks and 8 pounds each by 38 weeks, if they continue with their growth rate. By 42 weeks, they would be 10 pounds or so. No way I can go to 42 weeks. No way.

I want big healthy babies and I will deal with this discomfort as long as I have to, but still, it really is getting very uncomfortable.

This week commences Doctor’s Appointments-palooza. I have two this week: The first one is today. My next ultrasound is Wednesday. I think today is just weight and blood pressure and quick look at the babies. I’ll rattle of a short list of complaints and my doctor will tell me she isn’t worried. Wednesday is my first non-stress test, I think, and another growth check, during which we will see how chubby the babies are now.

Pictured above is me at 33 weeks. So far, no stretch marks. What does that say about my skin? That is was made to stretch to unfathomable lengths? I still have time to get some and my skin still has a lot of stretching to do so I won’t count any chickens before they hatch. But no stretch marks would be a happy little bonus. I do, however, have that "mask of pregnancy" on my face (left side), which I noticed for the first time this weekend, but Nicole said has been there a while.