The Power of Two

Well, waiting for the final amnio results is harder than I thought. I have to admit that after Tuesday’s good FISH result news, we had a huge sense of relief. And the rest of the week passed without much torture, thankfully. But starting last night, and now this morning, the waiting torture is back. It is amplified this time by the fact that we are not entirely certain when we are going to get the results. Monday will be 10 days, and there is a good chance that the results will be ready by then. But it could take longer than that, by a few days, or even a week. We really don’t know. It all depends on how fast the baby’s little cells are multiplying, etc.

This is what I learned through talks with our genetics counselor and research: The FISH test basically counts up chromosomes. We should have 23 pairs. If there are any extra, then that is when trisomy is diagnosed (a third chromosome attached somewhere). 13, 18, and 21 are the pairs that get that extra chromosome. 21 is D.S. So what Fish tells us is this: Do we have a normal amount of pairs with no extra? And we did have a normal amount of pairs, no extras. Thank goodness.

What I also read (which I like to hold onto) is that DS is the most common abnormal chromosomal amnio diagnosis, followed by the other trisomies. All of the other chromosomal abnormalities (ty sachs, sickle cell, turner syndrome, etc.) account for a very small percentage of amnio diagnosis. Plus, a lack of ultrasound findings further limits the chance of having any other abnormality. So that means that we are not out of the woods till we get the final results, but the odds are really on our side (I’m praying). If there is faulty logic to this theory, I don’t want to know.

The good news is all this drama distracted me from my continual count of “How long till my next doctor appointment?” And my next appointment is this Monday. Only two more sleeps till my 9:00 am visit! Very exciting. I hope it is boring. A regular, run-of-the-mill, nothing-is-wrong appointment. Most of all, I look forward to the little glimpse into the world of the babies. The next appointment after that is 11 days later, when I go in for another Level II Ultrasound. I pray that those cysts are gone by then. Or at least going away. Gone is better, though.

I’m still feeling little pops. No flutters of flopping, just pops. Most of them are happening in one area. On Monday, I will find out again for certain where the babies are positioned. I am thinking about asking the doctor to draw outlines on my stomach so I can be sure. I’m hoping the pops I feel on the lower left side of my abdomen is Baby A. But why then is Baby B so quiet? Why no Baby B pops? I guess it isn’t fair to start comparing them quite yet, but I can’t help it. These babies need to start moving around on a regular basis so I can feel reassured! Is that too much to ask?

I dusted off Power of Two, by the Indigo Girls, the babies’ theme song, which I was listening to a lot in the beginning of this pregnancy. (“Two” is represented visually by the two little leafs at the top of this post, in case anyone was wondering why there were two leafs up there. I’m way into symbolism.) The lyrics seem so appropriate, at least to me. Change all the I’s to we’s and it is as if the babies are singing the song to me. I realize that mothers are supposed to comfort and console their children, but it occurs to me that the opposite can happen, too. I know, I can be really cheesy, but right now, I’d like to think that it is a message to me that every little thing is going to be alright (hmmm… a favorite Bob Marley song…maybe that is a message too?).

So were okay
Were fine
I’m here to stop your crying
Chase all the ghosts from your head
I’m stronger than the monster beneath your bed
Smarter than the tricks played on your heart
We’ll look at them together then well take them apart
Adding up the total of a love that’s true
Multiply life by the power of two

Nicole came back from her business trip ad mentioned that I made a “good dent” in the cake. I thought she would be impressed with my restraint, since I really could have finished it all, but didn’t. Go, willpower. But, really, she can’t say anything, because this morning I got up all prepared to go to the gym with her and she was having a slice of breakfast cake.