Wednesday, March 02, 2011

In Defense, Yes, In Defense of Charlie Sheen (a little...)

It’s been hard lately to avoid the overexposed Charlie Sheen. He is all over the morning news, which, in a lovely twist of events, I have been able to watch (the news, that is) a little of this past week. Thank you, tea set and magnets, for occupying my children’s early morning hours. I have never seen an episode of the show he is on and I’m not a follower of his film work. And I don’t know much about his life, except for the broad strokes as covered by tabloids and gossip columnists. But I won’t let that stop me from weighing in.

I have two comments, maybe three. One, it is indeed interesting that his show was halted after he insulted the producer. Make fun of management and bam! the show is shut down. Yet, beating his wife and holding a knife to her throat while threatening to kill her? Destroying a suite in The Plaza after some sort of binge? The show must go on! Interesting….

Second, if he is as messed up as everyone is saying he is, then wouldn’t the media be, you know, exploiting him? Hmm. Everyone is quick to say he is crazy or high or losing it or not sober or insane, but damn if he isn’t good for their ratings. Last time I checked, that is indeed exploitive. I find it all a little sickening. And yet I can’t stop watching either.

Third, I think that he actually has a provocative message that is getting lost in the mix of his bizarre verbiage. I am fascinated by his outspoken break with AA. Clearly, he is done with AA. Not only is his done, he is espousing deep hatred for the organization. This time, he got (is getting?) clean by doing it himself at home, without the support of AA. And, believe it or not, I admire him for this.

Let me explain: I know a few people — whose sobriety I truly admire — who are in the program, and swear by it. I wanted to be one of those people. I wanted to sit in folding chairs in a church basement with a cup of bad, lukewarm coffee in my hand. I wanted a sponsor who I could call in weak moments. I wanted a blueprint for sobriety. I wanted to tell my stories to an audience of people who would get it. Seriously, AA is a dream for emotionally needy/barnacle people like myself! Alas, I tried AA for a while and did not find a fit for me. I was very, very disappointed.

At first I had no faith that I could do it alone. But I had to. So I dug in my heels and did this stop drinking thing by, as Avery would say, my own self. Well, I did have Nicole and the support of most of my friends, but, in the realm of recovery world, I did it alone. No AA, no therapist, so counselor or social worker. No nothing. And here I am, eight years plus later, living proof that you CAN do it without AA, or a counselor, or a therapist, or anything. You CAN do this alone, in your own home, and I think that is a really important message that needs to get out there.

There are many people don’t try to get sober because AA and counselors and rehab aren’t their bag and they don’t think they can do it alone. And they can. Is Charlie Sheen the best spokesperson for this message? Right now, not really (again: that verbiage). But he has the biggest megaphone right now. Too bad a good message is getting buried in bad interviews. And, his name will most likely soon be a verb.

Coming up, mini breakdowns, compliments of Google. And, I’m looking into wordpress and its fancy easy import.

Pictured, Madeline and her Match Game.


Malea said...

Yeh he's doing it at home on his own with the "Goddesses".[ MISOGYNIST }Blech! All the while exposing his two very young kids to his attempts at being that old wrinkled washed up ego whore at Playboy reincarnated.Who thinks that cesspool he calls a home is okay to raise kids in?

I'm with Gayle King it's one thing for him and his last wife to throw away their lives, but to drag two innocent kids down that black hole with you? Neither he nor his divorcing/in rehab wife should have custody of those kids.

Where the hell are the grandparents on either side? Who will speak for the kids? Thank goodness their mother at least had some scraps of clear thought to get a court order to take them out of there yesterday and get a restraining order on him. Hope the Goddesses are included in it.

Poo on him!

K J and the kids said...

I feel bad for anyone dealing with these kinds of addictive disorders. Whatever they may be.
I hope that he's able to pull through however he does it. Alone or with 2 ladies helping him through it.

I don't watch any of it...and if I'm lucky can catch up on some of it in some random star splashed magazine through the chit chat whildst getting my hair cut. :) Sad right.

My older brother was 2 years sober. "was" He fell off in October and has been on and off since.
I applaude those that can, those that try, and those that keep trying.

Hope said...

Addiction is a terrible ordeal, and destroys lives... but it can be overcome- and you did do it basically on your own, and that is amazing! But in CS's case, it's not just booze, it's also drugs, and probably some sort of personality disorder or imbalance- and getting clean by himself isn't likely (just look at his history). I do feel bad for him, but worse for the kids, and the the family members that genuinely care for him... it's going to be a long road.

Soni said...

This is really a good stuff, This sounds good. I like it. Photo Recovery

eeny meany said...

I have serious reservations about AA because (depending on the individual group) it can function like a cult. However, it's a *useful* cult for many people. And saving lives is probably better than the harm that comes from the horrors of mind control techniques like loaded language, demand for purity, sacred science, etc.

I'm totally with you that finding another method to sobriety is pretty cool. (Unfortunately, Sheen is clearly psychotic right now and likely won't succeed at self-treatment.) It's strange to me that although there are a few addiction treatment philosophies out there that don't use the 12-steps, (Passages Malibu, for one) but you don't hear much about them.

psapph0 said...

So many things I want to comment... only enough time to say that I want to comment. In agreement with you. Obviously.

Monday? YeS?

judy said...

I agree. My best friend has been sober for 20 years without AA. That said, her mother, father and siblings are all AA followers. AA works for most, but certainly not all.
And I have to admit to not believing that Charlie is totally bonkers. A tad manic maybe, but just because he likes having more than one domestic partner does not make him a bad parent.As we all know families and parenting are made up of many different structures. It wasn't too long ago that people ignorantly believed that a family had to = mom+dad+2.3 kids....just saying.

Mary Bess Ser said...

I came upon your blog randomly, feeling crazy and needing to read about other lesbian couples raising twins. And I read this post. My partner is reaching her 6th? year of sobriety this month, and she did it all by her own self too. What you said about AA is how she feels about it and pretty much how I feel about Alanon. Beautiful blog. And thanks. Bess