Unhealthy Sleep Habits, Unhealthy Mommies

Once upon a time, I had the perfect little sleepers. They took daily two- to three-hour naps and slept for thirteen hours at night. This made for happy, well adjusted babies and happy, well adjusted mommies. I didn’t appreciate it nearly enough when I had it good and when this wonderful, amazing, perfect schedule was ripped away from us about six months ago, I went into a tailspin.

It all started when we moved the girls into toddler beds. We thought this was a good move because climbing in and out of their cribs seemed more dangerous than free-range children. The girls loved their new freedom and decided two things: 1.) They would no longer take naps and 2.) they would no longer go to bed quietly each night.

Since that transition day, (remember the cupcake party we had? We were so full of hope then, like a those precious and short-lived pre-elected Obama days of hope) every bedtime has been a nightmare. Between 7:00 and 7:30 we walk them to their room and say goodnight. And every night at 7:01 or 7:31 they jump out of their beds and run around their room. At first we were okay with this. We figured they would tire out and eventually collapse in their beds. Thing is, that didn’t happen. As the minutes ticked by, they would get bolder and bolder, eventually sneaking into the living room and expanding their play boundaries and increasing their volume levels, and, despite all logic, revving up their energy levels. They invented fantastic games that only they understand the rules for. They practice jumping, spinning and climbing. They do everything but sleep. Clearly we failed somewhere in this process.

Our genius plan: Sit with them until they fall asleep. This was and continues to be a disaster. This is usually Nicole’s realm, because I think she thinks that after 12 or 13 uninterrupted hours with the girls, I need some sort of break so I don’t experience a psychotic break. Yet this is flawed, as after working all day, she could use a break too. Neither of us are thrilled to sit in the dark room and repeat “sshhhh….it’s night time. Time to go to sleep” over and over and over again.

Their bedtime edged closer to 8:00, which, again, defies exhaustion logic, since they no longer nap. She will sit in their room for an hour sometimes; sometime longer, sometimes less. This worked for a while, but then, just to make things even more challenging Madeline started waking up in the middle of the night and climbing into our bed. Nicole and I were too tired to stop her. She used to go through these sleeping-with-mommies stages every few months. It would last a week and then stop. But this time, it lasted and lasted and lasted. And has morphed from middle of the night bed trips to just starting out in our bed adventures. It has become the worst of both words: Last night Nicole sat with the girls for an hour and when she left, Avery was asleep and Maddie sort of asleep. And two minutes later, we had a little visitor in bed.

So why does this bother me? I went from having a two-hour break in the day and a few hours of evening time to myself to nothing. at. all. This affects every aspect of my life. I am so much more tired and have a hard time getting up at 4 to go the gym. I don’t have that two-hour afternoon window of time to make dinner and end up ordering in way too much. My patience level is lower than I would like it to be. And Nicole and I have no alone time together. None. Zip. Nada. I should point out that Nicole needs to go to bed herself around 9:00/9:30…. And, yes, it would be fantastic if she could push through her exhaustion and stay up to 11 so we could have time together, but she can’t. She has always been like this, and while it can be frustrating, I understand (most of the time). She physically cannot stay up, and there is no point in forcing it because the time will not be quality, alert time. If only the girls could sleep like her.

And, of course, lack of good sleeping habits is not healthy for the girls. While this is a concern, I must admit my desire to get them sleeping normally again is more for my own selfish reasons.

Please, please, please offer any advice and encouragement. I am especially interested in people who have experience with children sharing a room, like mine. I know the room sharing thing adds a special dynamic. We are thinking of going with the leading-the-child-back-to-bed silently method. But this will be tricky, since the girls share a room. And we don’t know if we should start now or wait until after or trip to Florida at the end of this week. And I am scared to think how long that will take? A week? A month? Longer?

Today, my plan was to run them into the ground by taking them to the playground not once but twice. Of course the weather may not cooperate.

Pictured above, the perpetrator of the nighttime nightmare situation. And Nicole and Avery walking in the back yard on Sunday. It looks like Jurassic woods! And behold, our baby robin. The eggs hatched and the we saw the baby birds this weekend. And also witnessed on of the baby bird’s first flight! File that under things we would never see in the city. And, a final note, the girls tend to sleep better in Massachusetts, since they spend most of the day outside playing.