Thursday, May 21, 2009

Just a Lot of Lame Excuses For Not Writing

First, to state the obvious: I am been awful about writing. I wish I had some grand excuse, but I don’t. Day-to-day life makes it very difficult for me to sit down, think my thoughts and type them out. Plus, these days I have a lot more secret posts than I do general consumption posts. It’s getting harder to untangle that mess, and then to sanitize my thoughts for here is just too much work. I need to decide if I should just migrate over to wordpress, where I can sprinkle my regular postings with the secret ones, without all the back and forth and the annoyingness of having two blogs. Or maybe I should just write what I want to write, dammit, and who cares who is offended. Wow, that sounds callous, right?

My first excuse: I have been distracted by my new Kindle, which Nicole got me for Mother’s Day. I love it! The girls have absolutely no interest in it at all, so I can sneak pages here and there while stacking boxes with them and generally just being in their orbit. I lay on their bedroom floor reading it and they are happy because I am there and I am happy because I can read.

Another lame excuse: The girls have been so very needy lately. They need me by their side all the time, which is why reading the Kindle works out well. When I open my laptop, they come over and shut it. Sometimes, I just open it back up again, but most of the time, when it is just me and the girls, if they shut it, I leave it shut, because they are obviously telling me “pay attention to ME” in their own little two-year-old way. So I do. And we read or stack blocks or dance or count things or jump. Usually within minutes they move on, and I can start something new, and then they come over to me, and the cycle continues….

In this paradigm, cleaning and cooking and organizing and folding laundry and housekeeping in general have become nearly impossible to accomplish. If I leave their little sides, they follow me and usually insist on being right next to me or in my arms. Madeline has decided that she hates all kitchen appliances. If I so much as walk toward the kitchen, she chases after me, yelling “Momma see, Momma see,” which we have determined means “Momma sit.” Last weekend, I made an entire pie, including the graham cracker crust, while holding her on my hip. Mixing, pureeing, cooking, melting, pouring, stirring, scraping and arranging, all with one hand. It is adorable, and I know I will miss this when she gets older. But on the other hand, I need to be able to get things done, without having a child cocked on my hip.

And yet another lame excuse: We have gone out to Long Island for the past two weekends. That need to get out of the city is very very pressing these days. And it is about time we got some use out of a house we pay the mortgage on. The girls love being out there. They love opening the door and running in the backyard. They love playing in the gravel driveway. They love hiding behind trees, sliding down the slide, running in all that grass. It makes me feel awful, coming back into the city. But living here in the city means Nicole’s commute is five short minutes, and that we would never get in the suburbs. The girls don’t realize it yet, but living in the burbs means seeing Mommy only on weekends, and that is just not enough. Right now, going to LI on the weekends is a fair compromise, I think. But we still wonder where we will all end up.

The girls are really starting to develop personalities, and it is a miracle to watch. While on Long Island last weekend, I took them to a shoe store. I wanted to get them both a pair of sneaker-like shoes for the summer. They both were in awe of being in a shoe store (their first time, for all intents and purposes). I picked out these cute Converse sneakers in pink plaid and showed the to Maddie — the one we deemed would be the girly-girl princess, based solely on her long eyelashes — and she said loudly and defiantly “no,” while shaking her head violently. I tried about four more times to get them on her feet, and each time, more loudly than the last, “NO.” She proceeded to walk over to the selection and pick out the brownest, butchest mini hiking shoes. And Avery — the one we figured would be a tomboy based solely on her hair — walked over and selected gold sandals with flashing lights on them. Then she was distracted by pink rain boots and the search was over. I walked out with the brown butchy hiking shoes for Maddie, the pink plaid Converse for Avery and the boots, which Avery refuses to take off and wears ALL the time. Once again, I am reminded that we cannot project personalities, dispositions or style.

A few random updates, because I want to have these things recorded: The girls are bottle-free, officially. Did I mention that already? Madeline will still drink milk from a sippy cup, and I let her do that whenever she wants. But Avery has compeltley eschewed milk. I am okay with that, because she eats a lot of yogurt and cheese every day, and it is the calcium that is important, and not the milk per se. Avery has started using the possessive properly, as in “momma’s coffee” and “Maddie’s milk.” Very cute. Avery is counting a lot now, and says “one, two, wee, six.” It’s a start! Avery loves to dance and has some amazing shimmy moves. Madeline will sit with me and read a book cover to cover. She continues to excel at the alphabet, but for some reason can’t quite figure out the letters S and X. Madeline is very adventurous and will g down the slide by herself, whereas Avery wants to hold a hand. And Madeline is such a great fruit and veggie eater.

Pictured above, Avery with Nicole’s mom (right), who was visiting from Florida, and my mom (left). Below that, Avery and Madeline, and suburban dinner. My one-handed berry pie is at the very end.


K J and the kids said...

It's a good thing I have access to that private oh so honest blog or I'd have thought you grew up another life and your mother was played by a Vanessa Redgrave character type.

Those curls too. SO CUTE !

I know that feeling of....I can't get enough of mommy. I feel like playground equipment most days. and I start to wonder if my hair loss isn't from the pregnancy but from little feet stepping on it and little hands using it as handles and pulling it and eating it x5 :)

My kids now will come in and say...I want to sit on your lap or hold me. But they do type on the keys when they know they aren't supposed to and I'm sure it's their way of closing the laptop.

Molly said...

was this at N's sister's house? Just asking because of the food spread. She has a true knack for cooking, she could be Giada.

I have another comment about photos, but I'll save it for scrabble.

rebecca said...

oh i am so envious that Avery is off the milk. rhett is still TOTALLY OBSESSED with milk. i think he has a drinking problem. he opens the fridge and takes out the jug of milk and hands it to me, saying "milk?" do your girls open the fridge yet? i need a lock but have been too lazy.

Leah said...

Glad to have you back. Oh, and the Kindle is my new favorite, too.

I'm a long-time lurker (way back in the pregnancy days) like so many others and was having major Arcane withdrawals. Funny how that happens.

I'm at leahradiology at yahoo dot com if you're offering passwords.

Thanks for allowing us to peek in on your life over the years; it is always appreciated. You've inspired me to thank all the blog authors I read, too.