Sunday, June 15, 2008

Home, Where My Loves Lie Waiting Not-So-Silently For Me


Do people who live in warm climes have busy summer weekends too?

It’s like the world around here wakes up from winter hibernation and spring modified-hibernation beginning in late May. And then, suddenly, the summer is booked. Almost every weekend in the month of June, we have a BBQ or party or baptism or Event to go to. July is filling up too. We’ve booked trips to Cape Cod and Florida over the summer as well. I enjoy it all, but deep down, at the very core, I am a homebody who loves to be in my own space. Is that so wrong? Going out sometimes is just a chance for me to experience the joys of coming back home.

Today we are off to a graduation/moving away BBQ for Auntie Nancy and Auntie Annie. They are moving up to Northampton, the site of our vacation-home hunting until we had to do the whole buy-my-mom’s-house thing. So now our vacation home is not quite a vacation home, but rather a giant Freudian transference representation in house form, an ever-expanding distortion of my unresolved issues, a whole house-full of them. Those closets are deep. But that is another topic for another day.

Annie and Nan…they have a home (with three bedrooms! Plenty of room for us!) and Annie secured a teaching position and Nancy has PT prospects as well. I love when things work out for the people I love! In our prime, we would head up to Northampton every six or eight weeks. I hope we can continue that, because it really is a different world up there, and we love it.

I am fighting an awful cold, which must be remnants from the girls’ various illnesses. Both had a runny nose for a while, and since there is very little spaces in our togetherness, it is no wonder I feel like crap.

This upcoming Wednesday is a full moon. Does anyone out there believe in that theory that when there is a full moon, things get crazy? Last month, I can’t remember what happened, but I do recall wondering out loud if there was a full moon. When I was home I checked on the calendar and sure enough, there was. So this week, on Wednesday, please let me know if anything crazy happens to you.

I asked my Psappho friend if marrying in California would mean Nicole doesn’t have to adopt the girls but alas, she would still have to adopt the girls. She sent me this very helpful link which lists the rights we would acquire. It is a great link, but I still count on her to disseminate all the info for me! She has a way with words, that one. Anyway, emotional benefits aside, I wonder in the end how much of a legal difference it would make for us to be married. I am covered under Nicole’s insurance and her company treats us like married people. We have all sorts of attorney documents that gives up rights of property, etc. Wills and health care proxies have been drawn up. Yes, we had to do this all the hard way, but it is all done.


As a consolation prize for not being married, I’d like to think that there is some truth in this quote, from Armistead Maupin in an article in the NY Times yesterday: “Straight people have grown up thinking they’re entitled to a fairy-tale wedding,” Mr. Maupin said. “One of our great advantages as gay people is that we’ve been forced to forge relationships without that fantasy. In doing so, we’ve figured out what’s at the core.” This is not to mock the concept of wanting a fairy-tale wedding, but to reinforce the theory that just because you don’t get the wedding and the bridal showers and the gown and the ring and the life that we have been conditioned to feel is our right doesn’t mean there still can’t be a happily-ever-after.

I am about to be 36 years old and I still want to wear a giant wedding dress. I don’t want to own the dress, but I just want to go to one of those bridal salons and try one on and spin in front of the mirror. I want to be in a Princess gown for just a few moments. I think a decade ago, I would have been more focused on those superficial parts of a wedding. The dress and the reception and the favors and all the superficial details. Now I see marriage in a very different light. That’s aging for you. And I see it as something important for the girls, because I want them to grow up with married parents and a positive example of what marriage is all about.

Pictured above, my Little Princess! They are becoming so much more expressive these days. Avery is really good at pointing to things she wants. And if we ask her where Doggie is, so goes and gets Doggie. Could they be understanding us more now? They also ignore us a lot, especially when we use the word “no.” Below that, me with both of my Little Princesses.

4 comments:

psapph0 said...

Happy Father's Day! :-)

Steph said...

I too had always wanted to try on a wedding dress - not wear one for my own wedding but like you try one on. (We got married on the beach in Kauai in nice sarongs and tank tops). My sister in law used to live in Jackson Hole, WY and they didn't have a David's Bridal there so for her to try on dresses she had to drive over 6 hours to the closest Davids. To help her out I figured I'd go try on dresses. She showed me which ones she liked on line and I went and tried them on and tooks pictures for her. Carey was in hell (mostly b/c she had to try on bridesmaid dresses) but I was in HEAVEN! It was so much fun. Although it's kind of weird, you don't just get to try them on, a wedding dress attendant goes into the dressing room with you and puts the dress on for you. That part was kind of weird but I still had a blast (luckily I'm not modest).

calliope said...

I think most of my gay friends that are in a committed relationship actually have a healthier notion of partnering than any of my straight friends that are married.

Random question- your nails are ALWAYS stunning & red. How the eff do you do that??

cristin said...

Hi! I'm a lurker. My name is Cristin.

I was thinking of you this evening (isn't it strange that a person you don't even know would think about you?!) because my middle child is OUT OF HIS FUCKING MIND tonight. Now, I know he's the 'middle child' and he's three, so he's often out of his mind. But tonight, ooooooh tonight, he has NO impulse control and I will be bringing his ass to bed in 19 minutes. But who's counting.

So yes, I'd say we're affected by the full moon tonight.