I’ll Have What She’s Having…Or I Will Scream Until I Do

The girls are going through some stage (I hope) in which it seems they both happen to want exactly the same toy at exactly the same time. What are the chances? If Madeline is playing with Polar Bear With Paws You Can Chew On then suddenly Avery needs the bear rightthisverysecond. The bizarre thing is we do have double of some toys and even if I give each one of the doubles, they look longingly at each other’s toy and when the moment it right, snatch it away, abandoning the exact same toy. They do this with their pacifiers too. Sometimes I like to give them each a pacifier and then watch them tussle. They will grab each other’s pacifiers for minutes on end. But this occurs to me that it might seem a little like cock fighting or dog fighting: Cruel and only for the spectator’s enjoyment and illegal in most states.

Avery, who walks like a champ behind her walker toy, and who takes steps here and there without any support, has now taken to pivoting. She will step with one foot in a circle, leaving her other foot firmly planted. I feel like she is executing some folk dance or something. The urge to clap in a rhythm and yell up something in Russian or Greek overcomes me. Regardless, this has to mean that walking is soon to come, right?

The weekend whizzed by as usual in a blur. Already I forgot what we did.

On Sunday I had a minor blackout. It is sort of like a Dizzy Spell Extreme. I am prone to moments of dizziness, most likely due to low blood pressure or getting up from a sitting position too quickly or maybe just too long between meals. Sometimes those momentary spells last a longer time, but those happen to me few and far between. But every time it does happen, it is scary and exhilarating, like a roller coaster. All those little dots swirl in front of my eyes in a tunnel-like way and the ground sort of slips from below me and I need to grab something to steady myself. The one I had yesterday was a little strange because it lasted a beat longer than normal and instead of just holding onto a wall I found that I was making little “uh uh uh” noises. I felt like I wasn’t getting out of it and that totally freaked me out. Sometimes I wonder if this is what death will feel like, the world slipping away and me slipping into this altered state. It is peaceful, in a way, and it has this strange aura to it, like I can figure out the secrets to the universe. But then I come to and it is over.

Strangely, I have a metallic taste in my mouth, which was the first sign of pregnancy for me every time I was pregnant.

The weather is supposed to be nice this week so I am looking forward to getting out of this apartment with the girls and getting some fresh air. I can’t believe it is May. I can’t believe they are going to be one in less than a month.

Pictured above, I stood on the chair to get this picture. That’s my toe on the left side. Below that, the girls in the tub. Notice they both have to have their own washcloth to suck on. And Avery sharing dinner with Mommy. I made roasted chicken with carrots and zucchini and rosemary. The girls really loved it. And I loved that we all ate the same meal at the same time. Usually the girls eat first and we eat later and usually I am making special meals for the girls. How liberating to make one meal that we all can enjoy.