Tuesday, April 08, 2008

This Is Going To Make Me Seem Very Mean and Catty, But…

I am not a fan of K*thie L*e Giff*ord and I am not thrilled that she joined the Today Show. Her trademark mix of self-deprecating humor and annoyingness has never appealed to me.

First, as I have said before, these news programs in general just bother me. All they talk about it the weather and traffic and the fluff pieces are beyond inane: Today on Today there was a segment on “How to Lose 10 Pounds in Six Weeks.” OK, I’ll bite. The advice? Eat only one serving of cereal in the morning (instead of two or three); don’t put mayo or cheese on your sandwich; skip the late-night dessert or snack (and brush your teeth instead!) and don’t put butter on your toast. Do all these things and in six weeks you will lose ten pounds. The thing is I don’t eat cereal, I don’t eat mayo, I don’t eat sandwiches, and I don’t have toast for breakfast. So I will lose exactly zero pounds. Not helpful. Besides, was this segment helpful to anyone? Did anyone learn for the first time that eating half a box of cereal is not the way to go? Or that ate-night trips to the fridge are a bad thing?

This segment is followed by another insipid segment on sneaking vegetables into your diet through purees, because we as a country can’t seem to just eat vegetables. The thing is, the things you need to sneak the vegetables puree into (guacamole dip, pasta sauces, etc) are probably things that you aren’t eating anyway if you don’t eat vegetables.

As you can see, these shows bother me yet I don’t turn the channel. There just isn’t anything else. CNN is too repetitive and I am not a fan of biased news. Plus I need the company in the morning and I want to know what is going on. The TV is on in the background and every 45 minutes or so I will sit down, fast forward through most of it and watch whatever segments seem interesting, so I am not a captive audience. But even in fast forward I find the news annoying.

So today the aforementioned woman started on the Today Show and it was so awkward to watch her throw donuts at the camera, complain about working two weeks and not getting paid, holding up hair extension pieces from her own head in the make-up room, pull out a football helmet that her husband used in some football game (lest we forget she is married to a football player), make jokes about her husband wearing adult diapers (he is like in his 80s so that isn’t that funny) and yell at a siren in the street, saying “Excuse me I am making my debut.” (I hope the person being rushed to the hospital in the ambulance apologized to her). She then interrupted her way through and interview with Harvey Firesten and was inappropriate when an audience member asked him “What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex” and she said to him: “That isn’t the one you care about, right?” Harvey gets a comeback award for his response: “That doesn’t mean I don’t notice them.” Go Harvey. And of course there was a requisite fish-out-of-water piece that had K*athie wearing weird stilt-like things and fumbling around, pretending to fall, making exaggerated faces.

Other current events bothering me include the raid at the polygamist ranch. Over four hundred children in state custody. This is very much on my radar, since I read that polygamist escapee book. I feel so sorry for the children and women who are trapped in those walls and are taught that the outside world is evil. Those kids must be so frightened, being pulled from their homes and taken away from their environments. I know this will save children who are beaten, raped, and forced to marry at young ages, but still, imagine being seven and going through this.

That girl in Utah who was kidnapped (Elizabeth Sm*art) was taken by a extremist and was brainwashed in 9 months. Nine months. She was taken into public by her captor and wouldn’t run or reveal her true identity. Imagine what growing up in a community with hundreds or thousands of people can do to your head?

And, like I said recently, I am learning so much about the Mormons. They have been tortured, killed and brutalized since the religion began less than 200 years ago. In the 1800s, states (Missouri, I think) declared civil war on them. They were driven from town to town by angry mobs of people who didn’t like their religion. They were killed in cold blood. To me, it doesn’t mater what they believe in terms of Jesus, God and the afterlife: It is wrong to be killed for religious beliefs, period. We as a country condemn other countries for things like this, but, once again, our history isn’t exactly a paradigm of perfection.

And now Mormoms are always mentioned in the same breath as polygamy, which is an edict they turned away from so many decades ago. And they are always associated with these polygamist sects, which are extremist sects that break off from the main church and have nothing to do with Mormoms.

I want to know what is happening with those children and the women and how they are being treated. I want to hear discussions about separation of church and state. I want to hear people debate whether polygamy should be allowed to exist in private communities if it is done in a way that ensures women have a choice (and aren’t forced at age 14, like they are now). But the news covers none of this is on the news because they are devoting segments to “Secrets of K*athie Lee” and “How the Fabulously Rich Spend Their Money.”

The body image poll is neck and neck! It is reassuing to hear that at least half of women have a positive imagine. More on this topic another day....

Pictured above, post-dinner Maddie, pulling her shirt off. She ended up topless by the end of the night. Sounds like my nights of many, many moons ago.


MsPrufrock said...

My kid ended up with her pants off the other night. No comment as to whether this echos my own behaviour of years past.

Most AM shows in the UK are a mix of the frivolous and the serious. Sometimes a bit too much seriousness, which, quite frankly, I find a bit too heavy before 8am. However, I do appreciate serious, non-biased discussions of relevant current issues over some fake, irritating-as-hell woman in stilts!

Anonymous said...

Have you considered turning off the tube and turning on WNYC (or streaming WNYC.org)? My daily companions are Soterius Johnson, Owen Bennett Jones, Brian Lehrer, Leonard Lopate, etc. It's on from the time I get up in the morning until I finish preparing dinner.

Shelli said...

wait. KLG joined the Today show? Who did she replace? OY. It's been a LONG time since anything other than Elmo has been on the tv in the am...

UGH. seriously? And we're supposed to take "diet" advice from someone who's always been a size 0?


K J and the kids said...

SERIOUSLY...that's all I have to do and I will lose weight. I eat all of those things :) WOO HOO !!

Mormons did allow polygamy. They also didn't allow black people to join and then when they allowed them to join they wouldn't allow them to hold preisthood positions. Times change and it seems their views do as well.
I guess that is the part I question. Oh God just "CHANGED" his mind about black people did he ?
There is no separation between church and state here in Utah. Mormonism is ALL there is room for here.

Oh and just another little note.
Ok...men and women get married in the temple here.
If they get divorced and marry someone again. Women have to have what's called a temple divorce in order to get married in the temple to their next husband. the men. not so much. goes back to the days of polygamy I guess.

AND. if Utah would have dealt with Warren Jeffs YEARS ago. These children and the children before them could have been saved. I say....GOOD JOB TEXAS !
To me it is not religious persecutions. Those children are abused and need to be saved.
It's also nice that a lot of the mothers chose to go with the children.
ok. stepping down from my soap box :)

suz said...

Oy, Kathie Lee Gifford, who exactly is heading up programming at NBC these days to think that we were all spending the past 8 years of Kathie Lee free mornings anxiously awaiting her return?

I'm sucked into the Today show too, thought it was good this morning when Matt Lauer was interviewing a woman who escaped from one of the polygamist sects and said "isn't this just pedophilia hiding behind a religious front?"

noahjakkobsamuel said...

I stumbled upon your blog today, and just wanted to thank you for being so open minded about Mormons and other religions. It drives me nuts when people talk negatively about my religion and assume we are polygamists. I was always taught to respect others and their beliefs.
Thanks again!

UtRus said...

I agree with Anon above - try listening to NPR for a week in the mornings and see if you don't feel informed (and less pissed-off at crap-ass media!) :)

i read Under the Banner of Heaven a few years ago and found it quite interesting.

calliope said...

I HATED KLG's debut. Hated. And that crazy yellow coat? so indicative of her personality. I just find her a little cutting, you know, like the bratty mother of a friend that can only give back handed compliments.

I, like you, have my morning show routine that I have to do with GM. We watch 30 minutes of headline news and then the repetition kills me (she is oblivious) then we switch over to Regis or regular CNN. At 10 I flip over to Today (mostly because it is fluff and GM sort of naps- but it is the same channel as Martha)

The only think I have liked about the 10am Today show is the Friday makeovers...but even now they annoy me as they seem so impractical.

Did you see Rosie on Martha today? I thought of you when she was plugging a book signing. Also thought of you when she showed these hair thingies that she made...

Anonymous said...

This is off the topic, but I forgot to post this comment a few days ago..... Anyway, you were talking about using the scissors to cut the kids food... also try using the pizza cutter (roller). It works great for steamed carrots or green beans, things that you don't want to pick up individually to cut with scissors!

Louise said...

You are so right. KLG grates on my like no other. I completely fail to understand her schtick. Why she appeals to people and why NBC thought she would appeal to viewers baffles me. Everything about her from the corny facial expressions, exaggerated movements, and fake sincerity are too much. I won't be watching anytime soon.

Thanks again for your blog.

Denise said...

I must be the cattiest bitch of all then. I loathe loathe loathe KLG! I hated her on Regis and Kathy Lee and refused to watch. I got sick of hearing about her stupid kids and their peeing on the potty. Who the hell cares. I was so glad when she left. I actually have watched regis and Kelly since then.
So Catty or not you are in good company.

Anonymous said...

ha! somehow i managed to see that segment about sneaking vegies into guacamole over here in australia! our baby was getting up ridiculously early when our daylight savings ended last week and had to watch some fairly random tv, including american breakfast tv before our own breakfast shows start.