Friday, April 11, 2008
Against Chemicals, Except Those That Make Babies
So I spent almost forty dollars on two Sigg water bottles and a lot more on BPA-free Born Free bottles for the girls (which we probably should have used from the beginning, thus saving hundreds of dollars). Sometimes I feel like we just hemorrhage money.
This whole Bad Plastic situation changes so much for us. I keep a Nalgene on the counter with water in it so it gets to room temperature, and then I use that water when making the girls’ bottles. This way I didn’t have to run tap water until it got to the right temperature or use cold water from the fridge. Easy. Again, here I am thinking I am saving time and effort and the earth, but in reality I was (maybe) pouring leaching chemicals into bottles with more leaching chemicals. Meta leaching. Great.
Now I am only worried about their bibs, toys, carpet, cribs, sheets, clothes and the dirty city air. OK, maybe that’s an exaggeration but I feel like we are surrounded by these chemicals and the only way to escape them is to move out to the middle of the country and live in a field. But then acid rain would get us. Is there still acid rain? Why don’t we ever hear about acid rain and the hole in the ozone layer anymore?
Yesterday, I took the girls for their first grass experience at Sheep’s Meadow in Central Park. Madeline loved it, and crawled around, happy as a clam. Avery was a bit skeptical and preferred that I hold her. Both tried to eat the grass and the dried leaves.
A father and son came over and started talking with us. When we got to the lawn, he was a good distance away, but I saw his two-ish year old child looking at the girls and pointing. They made their way over to us and he started talking to me. It almost seemed like he was flirting with me, which made me a little uncomfortable. He wasn’t wearing a wedding ring and talked in the “me” and not “we” way. I am clearly wearing a wedding ring, so I don’t want to jump to (narcissistic) conclusions, but we was very attentive.
The conversation took a disturbing turn when he asked if the girls were identical or fraternal. I said fraternal, and then he said something about twins and higher order births being commonplace today. I replied with my usual “Well, my mom is a twin so it runs in my family….” And was about to say “…but these girls are compliments of IVF” when he interrupted and made some obnoxious comments about fertility drugs, IVF and trying to have a baby the “non-natural” way. I was flabbergasted.
I wanted to say something but I thought it is just pointless. I am not going to debate fertility rights in the middle of Sheep’s Meadow with someone who thinks that IVF is wrong. And I am not going to buy into the theory that all IVFs must end in only one baby. For many, twins are a blessing. Women who have had miscarriages or are getting older or don’t have the time or money to do multiple rounds of fertility treatments or who are battling disease or who have difficult pregnancies are more than happy to have two babies at once, effectively buy-one-get-one-free. Twins are hard, they really are, but I am so grateful for both of my babies, even on the hard days, because I wanted two children and I have two children. If I only had one, I have to be honest, I am not sure we would have gone through the TTC process again. It was so long and hard and heartbreaking, not to mention wearing on my relationship with Nicole. I look at my two amazing girls and think “which one could we do without” and the answer is obviously neither. They were a package deal and I am grateful for that. So all those people who think what I did was wrong, hopefully they will never be in my shoes and have to confront compromising their own morals for their own gain. Close-minded people like that are the first, sometimes, to change their opinions drastically when they are ones in difficult positions. It made me really appreciate the internet community of bloggers and the opportunity to find people who empathize, sympathize and appreciate without judging.
Pictured above, Madeline and Avery discovering that concrete and carpet are the only things under their feet.