Back in [Blog]Business

You would think I won the lottery, having the internet back. It was the highlight of my week. The Cable Man came this afternoon, and it was touch-and-go for a bit, while he tried to narrow down the issue. Avery and I sat on the couch, tense, watching those damn blinking lights, waiting for full power to come back. Well, I was tense, but Avery was quite wary of the strapping man. She stared at him, without blinking for minutes on end, wide-eyed and stunned, the entire time he was here.

I was so giddy when it came back up. I’m still floating on Cloud 9. I have a lot of blogs and emails to catch up on. Not to mention phone calls. And letters. And visits…..

When I can’t fit into a bathing suit this summer please remind me that I made my own bed, mainly out of pasta, cheese, peanut butter, ice cream, Junior Mints and pretzels. Right now marinating in the fridge is Crème Brule French toast, a marvelous concoction that includes a stick of butter, half and half, five eggs, and a cup of brown sugar. I got the recipe off the Today Show, the morning program I love to mock. I also made a cake tonight, for no reason, and just finished my first slice. So the weekend’s menu includes cake with buttery chocolate frosting and Crème Brule French toast with buttery everything. It’s all downhill from here.

Nighttimes have been very disrupted by Madeline, who is going through Something that requires our constant nocturnal attention. Two more teeth are coming in, and I am not sure of their formal name, but I think of them as her fangs, as they flank her two front middle teeth, so maybe that is it. Who knows, really. She slept with us one night, snuggled between us, and I absolutely loved it. We have a No Baby Left Behind policy, so I was reluctant to keep Avery in her crib all alone, but we all can’t fit in the bed. The next night, Nicole said no, but when she cried, Nicole went and got her and brought her to our bed and told me sternly, “This is the last night.” Maddie turned toward me and nuzzled all night long. Night Three, Madeline wakes again, and Nicole dealt with her and got her back to sleep, but I got her during the second cry-out and ended up just sleeping with her on the couch. After getting over the wonder that is a couch cushion, Madeline fell into a deep sleep. Avery sleeps twelve hours, with very few exceptions, thank goodness, but I have had children long enough to know that can change in a moment. The lack of consistent, quality sleep, though, is getting to me (and Nicole).

Lexapro is going well. I feel stable, for lack of a better word, like I don’t want to run into the oncoming traffic of chaos and confusion. I feel like my reactions to things are a little less emotional. I feel less overwhelmed. I have avoided a couple of confrontations of sorts that I would, in normal circumstances, just jumped into, like a cow to the slaughter. (Yes, I am the cow in that scenario). This could be for a plethora of reasons, but I credit Lexapro. It’s been almost a month I think, so those little dolls must be working close to peak performance.

I am so glad it is Friday. By the end of the week, I am ready for Nicole to be home with us, for the dynamic to change, for the adult company, for family time.

Pictured above, The Today show missed the mark once again with this graphic, designed to show men how to measure their waistline to determine if they are at risk for heart disease. On one hand, you think, hurray, this is a step forward! But mocking men, making fun of their bodies, it isn’t appropriate either. You would never, ever see a graphic depicting a woman looking like that. No matter how realistic it would be to have a graphic of a not-stick-thin woman—one the most of the female American population can relate to—the powers that be would never agree. Instead, the women will have a stick thin graphic and the jolly men have this jolly graphic. This might be over the top, and I find it subversive. What would Gloria Steinem think of it? There is more to all of this than meets the eye…

Why didn’t I take an Women’s Studies courses in College?

Also pictured, the Girls on Canvas. My father sent it from China, where he lives. It is quite large, as you might be able to tell. The canvas, not China. Well, China is large too. Anyway, it is not framed yet, and I Blue Taped it to the wall (crooked) but I don’t think it is staying. Nicole says it is too big. A picture without a home….