The Weakness in Me

Last night Maddie started crying because her pacifier fell out. It was 3:30 am. Nicole spent the day with girls while I was gallivanting with other girls (and boy) on Long Island so I turned off the monitor and went into the living room to assume Baby Morning Duties. Now I was suppose to let Maddie cry it out, of course, but after spending the day away for her, I had to pick her up. I know I shouldn’t have, but I couldn’t help it. her cuteness is just that overpowering. Besides, that child has bionic hearing. She heard me tiptoe into the living room and lay down on the couch. She silenced her squawks long enough to ascertain that I was nearby and then comfortable on the couch and then started crying with force. She knows when we are close. Like a shark, she can smell blood from great lengths.

So I scooped up Maddie and took her into the living room with me. I’m weak, I admit it. I laid on the couch and nestled her in the crook of my arms. It felt good to feel her little feetsy-pajamed body. I though she would drift back to sleep peacefully, now that she was in the arms of a giant person. Instead, she used this valuable vampire time to Explore Textures/Faces with Her Little Fingers and Practice Vocalizing. After about 15 minutes we had an episode that can only be described as OMG Is That A Couch Cushion??!!! Frenzied touching and poking ensued. Once the thrill of the cushions subsided she did indeed drift to sleep, which is when I transferred Her Madieness back into her crib. And then, of course, Avery woke up. (Nicole refers to this as passing the sleep baton.) Alas, no sleep for me.

A nor’easter came and went but it wasn’t bad at all. All that weather worry for nothing. Even a trace amount of precipitation brings this city to its knees. We are that wimpy when it comes to weather. Auntie Annie came today to baby-sit while we had a nice brunch down in the village. And then we went for cookies. Alone with Nicole and no babies. As much as they are woven into our lives, during moments like that, I almost forget that they exist. Not in a bad way, but that old paradigm of the two of us lingers. We talked mostly about the future. It is overwhelming, trying to figure out what the best move is. Stay in the city. Move to Long Island. Move to Northampton area. Move to Westchester or Rockland County. Move Somewhere Else. All options have tremendous pros and cons. Huge. And each day I lean toward something different.

Or, as we decided, do nothing for now but sit tight. I’m glad we have options but still, I wonder where our story is heading.

In amazing news, Avery is starting to crawl! The army crawl. She shoves her hands out and drags her little body behind her! I’d like to call her Advanced For Her Age but there is no real rule when it comes to crawling. So babies do, some don’t. And the age range seems to indicate nothing, delayed, advanced or otherwise. But still, our little girl is starting to crawl! I’m enchanted and charmed tonight. By tomorrow I’ll be worried about baby-proofing, steps to fall down and walls to bump into.

I think the girls are going to grow up with an identity crisis. I rarely call them by their names. Instead, I call them by a huge list of names, including but not limited to:

Madeline
Maddie
Her Maddieness
Captain von Fussypants
Mads
Mad
Maddie-gator
Maddie-kins
Gator-kins
Gate
Gate-kins
Kins
Cutie-canator (Nicole made this up and I have no idea what it means)

The random nature of this post indicates that there are more important things that I should be writing about but I am not. Ah, avoidance. There always tomorrow…

Pictured above, Maddie McMaddystein and Aunt Mina. And meta pictures, the stocking holders. Even pictures of pictures of them are cute!