Saturday, October 27, 2007

Don't You Love Farce? (Sorry, My Dear)*

Cry It Out Night One
Friday October 26, 2007

It’s time. We’re ready. Cry it out happens now. It has to.

The girls were really really tired so we gave them a bath and got them ready for bed. Nicole sat in the rocking chair with Avery and I sat on the stool with Maddie. Nicole read GM; both girls proceeded to scream through the entire reading. Maddie fell asleep first; I put her in the crib. Avery fell asleep in Nicole’s arms but as soon as she went into her crib she screamed as if it were made of nails/fire. She fussed for a bit and Maddie slept thru it all. Then Aves fell asleep, after about 10 minutes of crying and fussing. Not too bad, right?

And at 6:47, maddie starts crying a cry I have never heard before. A cross between a mewing kitten and an injured bear cub, not that I have heard many injured bear cubs. She is on her stomach. It is an insistent cry. I consult Nicole and decided to roll her over to her back. Now on her back again, still with the mewing. It’s going to be along night.

Nicole agrees to let me take an ambien to make it through the night. Sweet, delicious, should-be-illegal ambient….

At 6:58 Nicole slides open the door to check on fussy Maddie and 3 seconds Nicole exits their room with Maddie scooped up in her arms. They look adorable. Cute and cozy and content. But not in her crib. Nicole gets a bottle and starts the process all over…this time in our bed, where Mad drinks and falls asleep.

Around 8:10 I scoop up the sleeping Maddie and return her to her crib. Nicole comments that she didn’t think I had it in me. I didn’t, either truth be told. Consistency might be the hobgobbins of little minds (according to RW Emerson or Vonnegut…I forget) but the girls need it to establish a pattern of bedtime.

Oh man I am dreading the rest of the night. Dreading it intensely. Hearing them cry will destroy me. Which I why I took an ambient.

9:05…I’m going to bed. The claws of ambient are dragging me under.

Edited to add: Avery woke around midnight and screamed for an hour. After an hour we decide to feed her. She drinks and goes back down for the rest of the night. Maddie screams around the 3 or 4 hour for a while. A few moans here and there as well from the girls. But both have to be woken around 7:30 am!

Cry It Out Night One
Saturday October 27, 2007

I am tired, crampy, tortured, sad, undone, and did I mention crampy? [Guess who decided to return? Yes, my monthly cycle DURING a full moon no less. Yikes…]

But I miss them in our bed. I really really miss them there. How Avery would turn toward me and rest her head on my side. Her baby breaths. Maddie cuddled up with Nicole.

That sound you will hear is me and Sisyphus and our giant rock of CIO. Tonight, the babies were promptly placed into respective cribs at 645ish. Maddie is asleep, Avery screaming. So sad, that screaming. It rips my heart out, looking at her little body and those tears and that fear in her mini almond-shaped eyes. Nicole and I argue over what the plan actually is and what happened the night before and what we need to do going forward, all with the cacophonous screaming in the background. Whoever said that couples reach new lows of cruelty [toward each other, that is] after the have kids is so brilliant. You think at times like these a kinder, gentler couple would emerge. I guess we’ll learn….

But so far, so good. And yet it was only been a hour. More updates tomorrow…..

Pictured above….Nicole at the Dept. Of Energy. Ha.

** Wonder if anyone knows what song that comes from?


Shelli said...

Our first night of CIO, I was literally trying to bust down Malka's door, crying too, promising that I'd go get her the required 35 times a night until she was 30.

the next night, i was banished to my best friend's house.

The next night, it wasn't so bad.

Now, she is a sleeping CHAMPION. a CHAMPION. And had we not done it at 5 months old, we'd STILL be going to her multiple times a night. Because as you saw, Miss thang can be a bit of a drama queen.

Our sofa bed is here for you, should you need it, instead of ambien....


nailgirl said...

I have no words of wisdom. I co slept with my two older boys untill they were 6 and 8!! and the two younger ones decided on their own to not let me rock them or cuddle them at 4- 6 months of age. I. was. heartbroken. But but but it was great I got to sleep alone and they learned to put them self to sleep. Do what is best for your family and to hell with what everyone else thinks.

Anonymous said...

I did CIO with my first born and it was hell but so worth it. My partner is the softer one so my biggest issue was with her not getting in the way. It only really took about a week until Alexander understood what the deal was. To this day he is an excellent sleeper. Once you teach them to self sooth via CIO they will be able to utilize this as they wake up during the night. I am now almost 6 months pregnant with our second child and intend on doing the same thing. Friends of ours who did not do CIO are still having sleeping issues years later.
Good luck,

Anonymous said...

It's "A *foolish* Consistency is the hobgobbins of little minds." Emerson.
Training the girls to sleep is not foolish. Be strong, or you'll have to start all over again. Seriously. They will scream for hours like they are being severely tortured. But. After that they will sleep like angels for months and months to come. And be happier for it. - laGiulia (an experienced CIO mother of twins)

Motel Manager said...

Everyone says CIO sucks the first few nights, but then it's well worth it. We never had to do it for night sleeping, but we did do it for naps after my son somehow forgot how to go back to sleep during the day and we'd have 30 minutes of crying to get him to sleep, then a 30-minute nap, then another 30 minutes of crying in trying to get him back to sleep. Naps are a bit tough for CIO since you can get to a point where they cry through the entire nap, but after a few days (and only a few such naps), it totally worked. Immediately, he was better rested and happier. We did it at 3 months, and I am SO GLAD now at 5.5 months that we did it.

I know some people think you train your child that you don't listen to their cries or something, but this makes no sense to me. He was SO sleep-deprived before, and then we spent a few bad days, and now he's so well-rested and happy and alert and so on and so forth - I really can't imagine he would be better off if we'd just kept letting him cry (albeit in our arms) for four hours a day in order to get two hours of naps in. He's great at putting himself back to sleep now. And when he does cry, we respond because it's so unusual we know there must be an issue.

My AF returned this week, too. Quelle surprise!

Anyway, hang in there!!!

Kerry said...

We have 5 kids and 4 out of the 5 did CIO. The older ones are now 18,16,and 13 and I assure you there is no lasting harm done. They have all slept well since being babies. The girls will be okay.

sarzini said...

I did CIO with H at 5.5 months. We had to - colic and the insane need of H to sleep on me *all* the time. The first night was awful. But then subsequent nights it got better. Now at 11 months I read her two stories, pat her back for 5 minutes and pop her into her crib with her bunny and she's asleep in 10 minutes (after having a chat with bunny). There will be nights where they need you and will cry - teething, colds. BUT doing the training now puts you on the road to a happy healthy kid later on. H is now a champion napper and sleeper and I'm glad we did it.

sara said...

I can't offer any words of advice about CIO (since I am still TTC), but I know that line is from 'Send in the Clowns'--