And Yet Another Night System

As soon as the babies were born, every single floorboard in the apartment became warped and distorted. They creak and groan if we so much as think of walking on them. And the babies—who sleep through the symphony of sirens and jackhammers and traffic and loud voices on the street—startle awake when they hear this (to them) deafening noise. So when the babies doze off in their swing or bouncy seat or on a couch, I feel like I can’t move until they wake up, which can be in 15 seconds or two and half hours. And walking a sleepy baby to our bedroom (their temporary sleeping quarters) to put down (hopefully) to sleep is always a risky endeavor. I just put Avery down for a second time and her little eyes popped open as soon as I took the first step toward the bedroom.

Nights are slowly getting better, and by better I mean I don’t dream of throwing myself out the window so much anymore. We switched formulas AGAIN and gave this new one a few days to work, instead of letting them take three sips from a bottle then run screaming to the drugstore because nothing has changed. The babies are still getting up a lot: Maddie awakens every two hours like she is connected to an atomic clock and Avery, well, lovely little Avery thought she might try HOURLY feedings last night just because she knows she can.

Nicole and I have set up a de facto system: We each take charge of a baby at nighttime for the entire night. The system works because it takes the “Are you going to get up or should I?” conversation that happens in the middle of the night, which is a really bad time for negotiations. Nicole has Maddie and I have Avery. It worked out this way because a.) Maddie absolutely cannot sleep on a flat surface by herself ever (perish the thought) and needs to sleep in the arms of a soft person and b.) Maddie very much prefers Nicole over me. And Maddie can ONLY sleep at night in the crook of Nicole’s arm. We have created a sleeping nightmare!

If Nicole is holding Maddie and I try to lean in and kiss Maddie or even talk to her, she concentrates her gaze on Nicole and gives me the newborn version of fingers-in-her-ears- la-la-la-la-I-can’t-hear-you. One time she even kicked me as I leaned in to her to kiss her mini forehead when she was nestled in Nicole’s arms. How dare I? I might be jealous if it weren’t so damn cute the way she cleaves to Nicole. Besides, it comes in handy: I managed to calm down a fussy Maddie one afternoon by letting her rest of one of Nicole’s shirts on my shoulder. And anything that calms down a baby is okay with me.

I am so tired and should be in bed with the sleeping Nicole, Maddie and Avery but who can turn off “Too Young To Marry,” a perfectly awful Lifet*ime movie about married teenagers. It’s Tivo’d but I feel like I MUST finish it right now, sleep be damned.

Pictured above is Avery wearing pants or the first time. She looks oh so intense, like she takes pants-wearing very seriously. She takes after her (other) mom.