Tuesday, July 03, 2007

378 DPO

It is 11:00 pm on July 3rd, my birthday eve, and I wish I were sleeping.

Last year, July 4th was 13DPO for me on our second IVF. We aggressively transferred four excellent-looking blasts, as recommended by our previous doctor. Four. We could have had quads or triplets. I was certain it would work. At least one had to stick. I was so pumped up that I took a HPT on July 3rd. What a great birthday gift, I thought, if it was positive. But the pregnancy test was negative again and instantly I sunk. The next day was the worst birthday ever. It involved strewn backgammon pieces and some door damage, among other things. To this day it still hurts to think about how awful that time was.

What a difference a year makes. We changed doctors, did another IVF and here I am, with 4 week plus old twins about to celebrate my 35th birthday.

Tonight Nicole and I went out to dinner and left the girls with Nanny Annie. It was our first time leaving the girls without one of us home. You would think we were about embark on a two-week African safari, the way we called and texted and fretted. We were going to see Sicko too, but Nicole had trepidation about being gone for so long. So a quick dinner and ice cream was all we did.

When we got home, Miss Maddie was in the middle of a gas attack, which meant she would be fine for a while then start wailing seemingly out of the blue for several seconds/minutes/twenty minutes. Her face got so red a couple of time that it looked purple. I of course thought I should jump into my clothes again and rush to the hospital with her. Nicole insisted she was fine, other than this horrific gas. Nicole eventually got her calmed done and made it to bed with her, where they are both sleeping for now. The Avery started acting up. Her gas kicked in (and so stinky too) and here I am, with a wide-awake and gassy baby.

For the record, I am SO sick of the gas and seeing my babies in pain. I am tired of trying all the new things we are trying. I am tired of being up all night (another up-to-five night last night). I am tired of averaging two hours of sleep a night (and not in a row). So the quest for the Magic Cure continues. We have done tea and bicycle kicks and gripe water and new formula and gas drops and massage and football holds and bouncing and shushing and pretty much everything. I kinda give up and think we need to just ride it out and pray it doesn’t last much longer.

For my birthday I want gas-free babies.

Pictured above is Miss Maddie in her bouncy chair that doesn’t work and Miss Avery doing bicycle kicks that don’t work at all on her gassy self. Sigh.


K J and the kids said...

Ok, does it count that they are SO DAMN CUTE !? Probably not at 4 am huh ?
Do they sleep when they are laying on your stomach, or over your shoulder ?
Syd was pretty extreme like this.....I'm sorry you had TWO like that at the same time ! I can't imagine it.
It sounds like they tag team on you :) They will do this forever :) ha ha Sometimes they won't....sometimes they gang up on you at the same time. Sometimes ALL THREE OF THEM DO !!!
Oh wait, I mean, two of them.....I just got a little carried away there for a minute. :)
This is SUCH a hard time Jennifer. Seriously. It is THE HARDEST THING EVER. You will get through it...and like me, you will remember it like you remember child birth without actually 'remembering' it.
You know what I mean.

Again with my favorite song.
Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming....what do we do we swim.

Speaking of. Have you tried the bath ?

Carey & Steph said...

Hopefully this gassy stage will pass soon... it is pretty awesome to compare where you were a year ago with where you are today. Have a wonderful birthday!!!!

calliope said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to a wonderful, fabulous, brilliant, amazing and sassy lady.

lagiulia said...

Happy Birthday! You are an awesome woman whom I'm so glad I "met" via your blog. I hope your b-day wish comes true! My guys weren't gassy, and I feel so helpless to not have anything to offer you. I don't blame you for being sick of trying things - it's exhausting to quest after that magic cure for something. And everyone has an opinion, which is meant to be helpful. But after a while, you just want them to all be quiet! You are right- it will pass at some point. Lots of love to you.

Anonymous said...

Happy birthday! Hope your babies feel better soon too. Have you ever blogged about what made a difference with the new doctor on your last IVF--did you do different drugs? got better embies?

sarzini said...

You may want to talk to your pediatrician about probiotics. There's been a recent paper on probiotics and infant/newborn digestive systems. Very encouraging results in particular for colicky babies.

Our daughter had horrible gas/belly issues in addition to reflux and colic. What we found worked best was periodically rubbing her tummy in a clockwise manner. It stimulates the descending colon - particularly when they are having a bowel movement. Also we'd do lots of bicycling motion with her legs as that helps too.

The gassy stage doesn't last too long. And the first 6 weeks are the absolute worst. Really. Hang in there and the babies will settle with their gas issues. For us the colic added a "fun" component of crazed screaming for no reason so our getting better stage took longer. Definitely do the shush, swaddle, sideways, suck deal in the Happy Baby book. You'll make it through :)

UtRus said...

hey girlz
ok, you know we're in the same boat as you - our twins will be 4 weeks on Friday. we have gas issues as well, maybe not quite the level that you're experiencing, but I know the rigid legs, screaming til blue, etc. so i don't have much sure-fire advice, but here is my best:

Get a night nurse. Don't hesitate one more day. We have had one since day one, she comes every other night and we get to SLEEP. (I should preface this by saying we are not wealthy people, we rent our little house, we are on negative income right now, and this is worth EVERY PENNY) I am exclusively breastfeeding, so i still need to get up, but the night nurse does all the changing, quieting, calming, and i tell you, this woman KNOWS babies like WOW. just this week we introduced a bottle - one per night (of breastmilk) and so I actually get a 4 hour chunk plus like 2 x 2 hour chunks. it's a lifesaver. my partner gets ALL NIGHT SLEEP and is therefore well-rested and able to cover for me so i can nap a bit during the day.

the only other ass-vice is the nurse showed me a way to hold the babies when they're having a gas/poop attack. put her back to your chest with one arm under her arms, use your other hand to cup her feet and push her legs up into a froggy squat position. now sit on the bouncy ball and bounce lightly - it seems to work with our girl - helps her move things along and comforts her during.

we are also using the simethicone drops and being very diligent about burping - lots of different techniques for that, too. for bottles we're using slow-flow nipples. but they only get one bottle per 24 hours so... i think babies on the boob take in a bit less air. but then, i have to deal with the whole issue of "is what I'm eating giving them gas?"

hang in there - we can do this!


anna said...

Happy Birthday! And what a beautiful reminder of the beauty of the gift of life your two beautiful (yet gassy!) girls are!

Motel Manager said...

I agree about the night nurse - go for it! We also aren't exactly wealthy, but having one was SO worth it. Getting that first four-hour chunk of sleep is amazing.

Your girls are really cute. Hang in there, and happy birthday. Just keep repeating: this, too, shall pass. :)

nailgirl said...

So cute, i wish I had the magic solution. Did you try the gentle ease by enphamil?