Thursday, March 29, 2007

Home Sweet Lonely Home

I’m back after two days with my niece and nephew. It’s late, I’m tired, and I still have to do the closet-check, shower-check, room-check, etc., since Nicole is still away and who knows where interlopers might be hiding. I had a really nice time, but I was reminded how two children can be chaos at times. It’s exhausting. In the best of circumstances it is tiring to follow them around, but carrying around these babies and being out of fighting form, I feel like such a aunt failure. I spent much of my time supervising from a reclined position on the couch, asking the kids if they wanted to watch Dora or Little Einsteins. Though I did make sure to take them in the backyard and to the playground both days.

My nephew adorably asks about the babies all the time and says hello to them. He also asked me if I have a blanket in my tummy to keep them warm. We have already established that they have no bed and no toys in there. My niece showed her interest by whacking me in the stomach (in a friendly way, of course) with all her toddler might. She has such personality. And brute strength.

The babies had a party in the middle of the night, which made sleep difficult, not that I mind. It is, for me, the best reason for insomnia. I think Baby B might have actually made the turn and has moved out of the breech position and into the head-down position, like her sister. The possibility of not having a C section makes me very happy.

Look at me, talking all positive and imagining births and baby dresses and chaos. I’m thinking so positively that I am actually feeling nervous about giving birth and raising two girls.

Tonight I drove myself home, drop off the car at the garage and amble back to the apartment at a pace significantly slower than usual, thanks to my child-induced lethargy. As I come home tonight, the doorman tells me immediately that he has bad news. No hello or anything. About 60 horrible thoughts race through my mind (each more morbid than the last) until he says the elevator is not working. Not so bad, I think, considering what I was imagining, but then I realized I’d have to haul myself (and my bag of things-I-couldn’t-live-without-for-two-days-which-turns-out-to-be-too-much) up six flights of stairs, which is not an easy task for me these days.

It’s good to be home. Lonely, yes, but good nonetheless. Nicole is home tomorrow night, then we are off to the resceduled car appointment all day on Saturday (sarcastic: joy) and then Sunday is our anniversary (real joy). And then another sonogram

Pictured above is Skye, indulging in a Breakfast of Champions (a donut!); just one of the privileges of being my niece. Below is an adorable dress that my SIL’s sister made for Skye. I think I need to commission her to make lots of those dresses our babies! Isn’t it cute? I am hoping it is too small for Skye and can pass right down to me.


Anonymous said...

I starting lurking a few months back. Congrats. My GF and I also live in NYC. I get encouragement from your blog. We lost a baby at 16 weeks, a chemical pregnancy and most recently - I think Friday be told the latest round of IVF will result in a D@C. Anyway- just when I feel like quitting - we are reminded that there is hope.


Anonymous said...

oh by lurking- I don't mean in a hiding in your closet /interloper sorta way.

Jennifer said...

Thank you, lurker, for clarifying, because I was about to check the locks on the door! I'm so sorry about the D&C. I endured two of those. The only good thing is it is all uphill from there. I'm glad you feel hope. There are too many happy endings out there to give up. We never quite get those happy endings in the time frame or even the package we dreamed up, but they are there, nonetheless. i hope you get yours soon.

nycphoenix said...

ugh six flights...but niece and nephews are always a good thing


K J and the kids said...

I cannot beleive your door man didn't offer to help you up the stairs with your bags. That will throw you in to premature labor girl.

Taking care of two is hard....taking care of two the same age is nearly impossible.

Dee said...

Skye is ADORABLE! The dress is ADORABLE!

Six flights of stairs?!? Hell, that would put into labor and I'm not pregnant!

whatthef*ck said...

carvel?! omg its one of the things i miss the most about the east coast. the ice cream cakes esp the choc crunchies. and my favorite, the flying saucer. nothing like it exists here. ice cream sandwiches with soggy or flacid cookies or oatmeal cookies?? you lucky thing!

calliope said...

just in awe of the stair power that you have!

K J and the kids said...

Hoping all is well ? Haven't heard from you in a while. :)