Monday, January 29, 2007

Halfway There

On Sunday, I hit the 20-week mark, which means that if I am lucky enough to stay pregnant full term, then I am exactly at the halfway point. It’s more likely that I will not go full term, since twins like to show up early. Which further means that I am more than halfway through this pregnancy, a concept that absolutely confounds me. I saw my nephew today and he saw my stomach and said “Babies are almost here!” I think that is his four-year-old way of saying I am getting big!

I had my first Movement Panic Attack, since the babies decided that they didn’t want to keep up their Popping. They were so active the other night, so I just assumed they would be active every night, at the same time, doing the same thing. Well, not quite. On Saturday night, if my womb could make a noise, it would be the sound of crickets. I don’t think I felt a single pop. That lead to a string of poor food choices on Sunday in an attempt to force said babies into a sugar high. Sugary cereal, a vanilla milkshake, a chocolate truffle, orange juice, all in the name of sugar high, which, in theory, would create a Popping chain reaction.

Then I stooped even lower. I read online that some women will shine a flashlight on the uterus. This, apparently, bothers babies, who wiggle and squirm, ostensibly to get away from said offensive light. Others say the babies don’t mind the lights, they are just reacting to it. Either way, I decided to give it a try, justifying it by thinking if it were SO bad, there would have to be a warning on all flashlights.

I had Nicole do the honors, and she agreed, but if you looked closely at her almost imperceptibly shaking head and subtle eye rolls, she was not thrilled to partake in such activities. (There was also something about the limp-wrist hold that screamed “This is ridiculous. And maybe mean.”) But I think it worked: I did feel some popping after the light experiment. And that reassured me for about a second.

Now is the time when I wish I listened to my friend Jen, who warned me not to get crazy about the whole movement thing. But I apparently can find something to worry about all of the time.

I was additionally reassured by lots of information online, which says movement is in fact very sporadic in the beginning. You’ll feel it one day, and not the next. It becomes more regular as time goes on, meaning, in a couple of weeks. This is not what I really imagined: I thought it would be more like a switch: Babies start moving and don’t stop. Is it too much to ask that they check in a couple times a days with a few kicks?

The contractor begins this week to make the babies’ room. We picked up some paint colors and looked at some carpet swatches. I am overwhelmingly opposed to wall-to-wall carpeting, but the babies will have that in their little room. And even though I am against too much pink, their room will be pink (well, a soft, soft, soft, light pink). It just seems like the right thing to do. What is happening to me? I am so excited for this room to be done so I can start officially Nesting. I am ready to buy a dresser and their cribs and start hanging pictures and things like that. I am beginning to get very excited. I still can’t believe this is happening to me. It truly shocks me to look down at my stomach and think that there are two babies in there. Two squirming, getting-bigger babies. Also shocking is wearing elastic waistband jeans. And my rapidly expanding everything.


Motel Manager said...

When I first felt movement, I would have it one day, then not the next. Even now (24.5 weeks), there are some days that are more active than others, even though I feel something every day (often after sugar and/or caffeine - am a bad mother already). It is hard not to worry, though.

Congrats on making it halfway through!

whatthef*ck said...

didn't you rent a doppler? i thought you had. i'm loving mine right now so i can check in when i haven't felt much movement. anxiety gone immediately. well some of it anyway.

Infertilepediatrician said...

Congratulations on the 20 week mark. You are definitely at least half way there to being a mom to 2 lucky girls!!!

Your story gives me hope and you inspire me. You have been through so much as mentioned on your profile, but you are now nearing the home stretch on a successful pregnancy. After all of my failures, your current success keeps me going.

BTW - if you're looking for a sugar rush to get the girls moving, I recommend soft sugar cookies with icing (it's what has been keeping us going all weekend).

lagiulia said...

I'm so excited for you all! Worry is a normal part of pregnancy... and even though some of us worry more than others (raising my hand over here), it sounds like you are also feeling excited and getting some joy out of the experience. Good for you!

Dee said...

Don't you hate those moments of pure anxiety because you can't feel the little ones. We borrowed a doppler so that any time we're anxiety ridden we pull it out and immediately find relief. We can relate to all of the tricks (sugar, shaking the belly, etc). We haven't tried the flashlight yet.

Holly said...

I think every pregnant woman feels that. Lois will realize at the end of the day that she hasn't felt him and gets nervous until she does.
We never did the flashlight thing, but we poke at him a lot. I hope he doesn't hold it against us when he comes out that we poked at him.
It seems a little mean, doesn't it?