The Countdown Continues....

Someone needs to take my computer away.

My computer lives on the coffee table in the living room, but has a permanent spot on my lap when I am on the couch. I can’t just sit down like a normal person and watch TV and r-e-l-a-x (I never could; I must be multi-tasking). So as I glance at a rerun of Law & Order, I google and read and research and list and compare. When should you first feel babies’ movement? What are signs of second trimester m/c? Can second trimester m/c happen without warning? What should I expect to see at the Level II ultrasound? (please don’t let us see little clenched hands.) I even still read Beta boards.

Obviously, too much information can be a bad thing. Hunt for something awful and you are certain to find it. Why can’t I just relax? Why can’t I just look at my growing stomach when I need to be reassured that things are going well? I was reading a blog recently about another woman who was pregnant after years of trying and m/c’s and she was saying how she didn’t really believe it was happening. I read a little more and realized she was 39 weeks. 39 weeks. Is that going to be me?

I’d say that the nesting instinct is really setting in, but to be honest, I am always nesting, so wanting to get everything in order really isn’t anything new. Yet I really have this urge to have everything in place, and we are very far from that. The contractor is coming over on Thursday to meet with us (before the ultrasound) and discuss the plans for the babies’ room. I am excited for this room to be done, because then I feel like we can get the cribs and start buying things. I can start thinking about what colors to paint the walls (I want light brown and apple green; Nicole wants not-light brown and not-apple green). I can pick out a dresser and start acquiring mini things to put into said dresser. Put things on shelves. I can go through that giant bag of clothes that sits in the back of Nicole’s closest, filled with optimistic gifts and hand-me-downs given to us during my other pregnancies. Of course, this is all contingent on everything going well at this ultrasound. Nothing is going to happen if things don’t look promising. The last thing we need to do is dis-assemble a room if things don’t turn out well.

This just isn’t going to be an easy 40 weeks (that is, if I am lucky to go 40 weeks). I guess I just need to accept that.

In happy news, my sleep seems to be regulating. I can make it through the night with just two trips to the bathroom! I still have to flip from side to side, dragging the giant body pillow with me, but I am happy to be sleeping more. My eating seems to have settled back into the range of normal. I have a full box of graham crackers and a bag of salt and vinegar chips in the cabinet and I have no interest in them! And I’m not as dizzy as often, which is thanks to my blood pressure getting back closer to normal for me. So all in all, I can’t really complain too much.

Three more restless sleeps till the Level II….