Friday, December 29, 2006

Symptom Recital

OK, so I am still alive. The flight home was MUCH better then the flight down. There was barely any turbulence and I even lifted up the shade and peeked out the windows somewhere around the Carolina coast. After the plane touched down, I felt a little silly, as usual, for this crazy fear, but I still think our next vacation is still going to be something that we can drive to.

On Sunday, I am 16 weeks. Four months. I can’t believe it. If it weren’t for the fact that I feel pregnant, I would believe I made this all up I my own head. My pants are really tight; tight enough to cause pain when I sit down. And I can’t really sleep on my stomach anymore. I try to, because I absolutely hate sleeping on my side, even with pillows, but it just feels too uncomfortable. It hurts like it does when you eat too much food. My stomach feels hard, and while I can’t exactly feel where my uterus begins and ends (shouldn’t I be able to do this by now?) it seems like it is way over my belly button. I get up every hour and a half to pee so a good night’s sleep is just a fond memory at this point. Bleeding gums. Voracious appetite. Heartburn every now and then. Weight gain. And, last but not least, I have pain in my back, and after ruling out kidney infection, and assuming this was a sign of impending m/c (this almost sent me to the hospital while on vacation), I settled on it just being another pregnancy ailment.

Now that I am safe on the ground, my thoughts return to Constant Fear About Unborn Babies. I am still worried about a m/c. Or is it stillbirth at this point? I know that the chances of this happening drop after the first trimester, but I am still fuzzy on when the second trimester begins. Some say at 13 weeks, other say at 14 weeks. My last ob/gyn appointment was at 13w1d, and at that point everything appeared to be okay. (Though one heart rate looked a little slow, but my doctor says it “seems fine.”)

Needless to say, my next appointment is scary to me, because it is officially full-on in the second trimester and it has been three weeks since my last peek inside. But who am I kidding? I can concoct a reason to fear each appointment on this (hopefully) 40-week track of hurdles. I will still check my toilet paper for blood. I will stil hyper-analyze every twinge. I will still spend most of my awake hours googling for answers to questions that I haven't even formulated yet.

So five more sleeps (ha) till my next ob/gyn appointment and just less than two weeks till the all-important Level II ultrasound, where we will find out if these babies are looking healthy. And if there are still two, if any, babies.


bri said...

I am so glad you are back and safe and sound on the ground - it sucks to have a fear like that. I've been thinking of you lots.

Sophia said...

hoping and praying for the best