tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-988962265617663341.post3937272244022309072..comments2023-11-05T03:47:33.710-05:00Comments on Arcane Matters: What’s In A Name?Jenniferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01233972102418274980noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-988962265617663341.post-70704356306331700642007-03-15T23:56:00.000-04:002007-03-15T23:56:00.000-04:00Hi Jen! First time reader, first time poster!I've ...Hi Jen! First time reader, first time poster!<BR/><BR/>I've always loved 'partner'. Yes, it has business interpretations...but it has sexy, mysterious interpretations. I think of Marion Ravenwood, holding up the mediallion outside of her burning bar, turning to Indiana Jones and saying "...I'M YOUR GODDAMN PARTNER!"<BR/><BR/>When the cable company asks "Am I speaking with Nicole?", say "No, this is the apple of Nicole's eye speaking. Now can you get my cable to work or not?"Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-988962265617663341.post-45760601302294286302007-03-15T20:42:00.000-04:002007-03-15T20:42:00.000-04:00Yeah... because just relaxing REALLY helps people ...Yeah... because just relaxing REALLY helps people gain civil rights.psapph0https://www.blogger.com/profile/06484775921386317369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-988962265617663341.post-4384770208150495742007-03-15T18:48:00.000-04:002007-03-15T18:48:00.000-04:00Damn psapph0 !Sometimes I think we need to just RE...Damn psapph0 !<BR/>Sometimes I think we need to just RELAX and call each other what feels comfortable.<BR/>StaceyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-988962265617663341.post-91830054873313402352007-03-15T17:57:00.000-04:002007-03-15T17:57:00.000-04:00Mikey uses wife, partner and spouse. I use partner...Mikey uses wife, partner and spouse. I use partner and spouse most of the time but among friends I call mikey my husband since she id's a butch and tends to embrace both masculine and feminine and to call her wife is just wrong.Sophiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01646895525679344259noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-988962265617663341.post-37364435564688200042007-03-15T16:37:00.000-04:002007-03-15T16:37:00.000-04:00I know that Carey already posted above but I thoug...I know that Carey already posted above but I thought I would add my 2 cents. <BR/><BR/>I actually like the word partner. I don't think that it carries the same stereotypes that wife/husband carry. It's an equalizing word. However I agree that it's starting to replace gf or bf for gay couples and you really shouldn't refer to your gf of 1 week as your partner (even if you've already done the U-haul thing). Also, as a doctor, I think it does have the potential to confuse people.<BR/><BR/>I used to use the term spouse. It's gender neutral and thus I found it to be safe in certain circumstances. However, it's really hard to use and not sound stupid. Someone once called me out on it and I felt dumb for not just using a gender specific word.<BR/><BR/>So I have finally come around to using the term wife. I like that it makes some people a little uncomfortable. I will sometimes add that while I consider Carey my wife, it's not really legal (I don't want to come across as complacent). We did have a ceremony and we consider ourselves married (even though the state considers us domestic partners and the federal government doesn't consider us at all), so I don't feel that I'm lying by using the term wife. <BR/><BR/>Currently though, I'm referring to Carey as my baby's mama (although not in public).Stephhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12766933278803900214noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-988962265617663341.post-72628959794287516752007-03-15T16:17:00.000-04:002007-03-15T16:17:00.000-04:00Both Lady M and I tend to use "partner" when talki...Both Lady M and I tend to use "partner" when talking to strangers, coworkers, politicos, telemarketers, phone companies and who-not. My favorite ever is her younger brother's way of introducing me to people: "...and this is my sister's girlfriend, lover, partner, bitch-sorta thing."<BR/><BR/>When it becomes legal, I'll favor the word spouse. <BR/><BR/>I get annoyed when people who are not legally married (those of you in MA, Canada, The Netherlands, Belgium and Spain need not read further) use "wife" or "husband" for same-sex relationships because I believe it helps to perpetuate the feelings of complacency that exist among the mildly supportive and supportive straight AND gay community alike. Even with all the media attention the issue has garnered in recent years, there are many, MANY people here in New York who do not know that we (speaking for G/L/B people in same sex relationships) cannot get married, and I feel that people using "wife" and "husband" out of context are partially to blame for that. Beyond this, it also keeps them ignorant of the fact that there are thousands of rights we're are not entitled to; a "wife" is someone who can inherit your social security benefits, visit you in a hospital no matter what state you are in, share in your health benefits without jumping though paperwork hurdles, invoke the 5th amendment in court, adopt jointly with you in every other county, assume parenthood for any child born into your family, go through customs with you, inherit your estate and bank accounts, and about 1,700 other things. It is not constructive for any of us to make others think that it is legal when it is in fact completely illegal. We want support on the issue because people are informed about the topic; not because they are too stupid to know better.psapph0https://www.blogger.com/profile/06484775921386317369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-988962265617663341.post-55024569347488083362007-03-15T14:03:00.000-04:002007-03-15T14:03:00.000-04:00You don't know me from a hole in the wall, but I'v...You don't know me from a hole in the wall, but I've been lurking along, following the ups and downs and cheering for you all the way. I'm in Canada, so my wife really is my wife, but I've always quite liked 'partner', and tend to use the two interchangeably. It makes me think of dancing, a partner in the dance, etc. And in that context, is often the most perfect word I can use.<BR/>And as to whether the world is ready for us and our wives - screw 'em, I say. Nobody was ready for interracial couples either. The only way people get ready is to have to deal with it, already. So here I am, part of an inter-racial, same-sex marriage - I love making the introductions, and then speculating on what part of the whole equation people are struggling with! ;-)Shereenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03722130075149161371noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-988962265617663341.post-45504468405652734032007-03-15T12:40:00.000-04:002007-03-15T12:40:00.000-04:00I like using "wife" because it doesn't feel apolog...I like using "wife" because it doesn't feel apologetic like so many of the other options do (for me, anyway). It's not easy to misunderstand what I mean by it, it presumes they're fine with it, and it makes many people think it is, in fact, legal.<BR/><BR/>And somehow, if they think it's legal and get used to it, I think they're less likely to decide it should stay illegal if it comes to votes whereever they are.<BR/><BR/>And I like watching people's faces as they try to process all of it and still be polite. :-)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-988962265617663341.post-43108505012058848492007-03-15T11:04:00.001-04:002007-03-15T11:04:00.001-04:00The fact that I just "claimed"my Mother as my dome...The fact that I just "claimed"my Mother as my domestic partner on an insurance application makes me hate the phrase even more.<BR/><BR/>I have never liked the term "boyfriend" as it didn't seem important enough. When I was in a long relationship I would just call whoever "My Man". <BR/><BR/>Maybe you can call Nicole "your woman". It has a nice cave girl feel to it. bwahAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-988962265617663341.post-92228598198967839362007-03-15T11:04:00.000-04:002007-03-15T11:04:00.000-04:00The fact that I just "claimed"my Mother as my dome...The fact that I just "claimed"my Mother as my domestic partner on an insurance application makes me hate the phrase even more.<BR/><BR/>I have never liked the term "boyfriend" as it didn't seem important enough. When I was in a long relationship I would just call whoever "My Man". <BR/><BR/>Maybe you can call Nicole "your woman". It has a nice cave girl feel to it. bwahAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-988962265617663341.post-4500210631459142952007-03-15T00:47:00.000-04:002007-03-15T00:47:00.000-04:00Damn blogger...I love seeing pictures.Don't forget...Damn blogger...I love seeing pictures.<BR/>Don't forget : companion, lover, and my bitch. <BR/>I have a wife....no, wait, a husband. It depends on if she's using power tools, installing a new water heater or finishing the basement. (all of which used to TOTALLY turn me on, until the kids of course came along)<BR/>She is my wife. I'm more offended when I hear couples ESPECIALLY with kids that have been together 10 years refer to their "partner" as their girlfriend. That seems like someone that's not permanant.<BR/>Fly by the seat of your pants kind of relationship. <BR/>I do use the term partner when talking to someone who can't HANDLE the term wife :)<BR/><BR/>Are you changing last names ?<BR/>My long time companion :) ha ha is taking my last name....which is weird, because I'm the wife :) I had the babies and they have my last name so it seems easier, oh and cheaper. (and don't think that I planned that) She's waiting until her mom dies....we don't want to put her in an early grave doing it now. :)<BR/>Pish posh.K J and the kidshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11768311213861195548noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-988962265617663341.post-91616323571056584122007-03-14T23:01:00.000-04:002007-03-14T23:01:00.000-04:00Over the years I've, we've, had the same dialog on...Over the years I've, we've, had the same dialog on "what's in a name". For the longest time it was just my girlfriend. I always HATED the term partner. It seems, just as you said, like you're referring to a business partner. Or how about "Howdy Partner?". I've finally, within the last two years become comfortable with the term "wife". Yet, we're not legally wed which is CRAP!Deehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10627148918196883788noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-988962265617663341.post-71040433525434946382007-03-14T21:39:00.000-04:002007-03-14T21:39:00.000-04:00Well, I liked 'partner' the best until straight pe...Well, I liked 'partner' the best until straight people and newer LGB couples started taking it over. I mean, is someone your 'partner' after you've been dating just a few months? I don't think so...I still think they fall into that g/f or b/f category. Partner used to be used by gay couples to subtlety 'out' themselves to other people, but now, many straight people I know use it - they think husband/wife is too stereotypical or they like the 'equal-ness' of the word partner.<BR/><BR/>Speaking of partners, Steph introduced me as her partner once at a drug rep function -- hehe -- the drug rep started giving me samples of the meds!! You know, since I was a 'partner' and all in the medical partner sense. It was funny... of course, I kept the free meds :)<BR/><BR/>Steph calls me her wife mostly... I tend to use the word partner still. Or biatch... when I'm feeling sassy. And brave. LOL Kidding of course.Careyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18236627069695181735noreply@blogger.com