Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Solicited Advice

If someone about to have an affair and asked me for advice (you know who you are), this is what I would say: Don’t bother. I would say that this unignorable passion, which ignites the affair, it goes away. This person who you are obsessed with—this person who is maybe the first person you think of in the morning and the last person you think of before you fall asleep at night—this person will slowly but solidly disappear from your life. Eventually you will wonder why you were even obsessed with this person in the first place. What you saw in this person. Years down the road will even forget the symbolism of the meetings and minutia and moments; what you laughed at together; where you went; the stories you both concocted to maintain the fragile web of lies surrounding your affair.

Oh, the drama.

Instead, you will remember what you were going through during those dark days, inide of you, and how wrong that affair was. Suddenly, in almost an instant, something so forbidden and exotic becomes something so regrettable and cheap. And every person who has had an affair can tell you exactly when that instant was; this is the milestone they remember.

And for the record, though I may be speaking from experience [nervous cough] I never cheated on Nicole. Who coudl betray a woman who brings carmel and candy apples home just because you like them? (pictured above)


gypsygrrl said...

i know this wasnt for me, but thanks for writing this out. i needed to hear some of your words this morning.

Truck Driver Wife said...

Very well spoken. Some pretty deep advice. I hope whom ever it was intended for reads it and takes it to heart.

francesca said...

Depressing thoughts on a rather depressing day in the IVP. I usually just lurk but despite the trend towards some good news lately, today just seemed so so dour. But I know what you mean about that instant, where everything explodes and collapses all at once. Except I've usually been on the other end of that -- realizing that my own sense of security and trust and self were all traded upon like penny stocks. Not a great moment, that.

Audra said...

very good advice, and those apples look so yummy!

From Here To Maternity said...

Thanks, I know this wasn't written for me, but it's as though the fates steered me here.

psapph0 said...

Good advice... I'd say it's that or just throw the whole monogamy thing out the window :-)

It ain't cheating if it ain't against the rules!